The Sweet Southern Sugar strategy? Due out November, whatever, third or something like that.
The Sweet Southern Sugar strategy? Due out "November, whatever, third or something like that."

Kid Rock went on Howard Stern's satellite radio show yesterday to A) promote his forthcoming U.S. tour and B) declare unreservedly that he would not be challenging Michigan's incumbent democratic Senator Debbie Stabenow in the midterm elections next year, despite the best efforts of Breitbart News chairman and disgraced White House stooge Steve Bannon.

The Daily Beast confirmed that Bannon had been in touch with Rock (whose real name is Robert Ritchie (which is also the name of the dimwitted Republican presidential challenger on seasons three and four of The West Wing, not for nothing) in his ongoing effort to recruit convictionless stunt candidates to run as Republicans, rebrand them as "insurgent," and use their pop culture notoriety to curry favor with the least educated segment of the electorate. Bannon's strategy almost worked with Sarah Palin, did work with Donald Trump, and shows no signs of losing viablilty.

Rock/Ritchie's exact words were "Fucking no, I'm not running for Senate! Are you fucking kidding me? Like, who fucking couldn't figure that out? I'm putting out a new record on November, whatever, third or something like that. I'm going on tour, too—which no one's gonna print.... Fuck no! Are you fucking shitting me?"

Rock/Ritchie also said that he never had any intention of running, but went along with the idea for a while, because it was "awesome." He added that NY Sen. Stabenow is racist, that NY Gov. George Pataki's endorsement of his candidacy was "fuckin' sweet!" and that the New York Times is "a little bit gay."

Kid Rock's The Greatest Show on Earth tour begins Nov. 11 in Laughlin, NV, which is the closest it gets to Seattle until the final date, March 24, 2018 at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas.