Good morning, Portland. This post is only as strong as its weakest link.

Before we get to the newsy shit, check out this week's Mercury feature and plan your New Year's Eve. Here's your guide to the best events in town.

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Chris Bigalke

Check out Dirk VanderHart's story on a city fee meant to spruce up streets, but is also very screwy. One interesting nugget:

Under the LTIC program—passed by City Council in April 2016 and facing uncertainty and outcry from Portlanders of all stripes—citizens have no means of appealing the charge. It’s levied on people seeking a new single-family building permit on land that sits on an unimproved or under-improved street, which can mean anything from a road of pocked gravel to one that has no sidewalks. Exemptions are currently granted only in limited cases, such as when a natural disaster destroys a house.

The only disasters that had befallen Willford’s dilapidated home were moisture and the march of time, but officials at PBOT thought they might have a way to change that. If city firefighters were to burn her house down as part of a training exercise, they believed, Willford could be let off the hook under the disaster clause.

The GOP tax bill suuuuuuuucks, FYI.

Our Josh Jardine wrote about the the Emerald Cup.

"A federal judge Wednesday declared a mistrial in the prosecution of Nevada cattleman Cliven Bundy, his two sons and a co-defendant, citing the government's "willful'' failure to turn over multiple documents that could help the defense fight conspiracy and assault charges in the 2014 Bunkerville standoff," the Oregonian reported yesterday. "

A truck driver had to be rescued from Blazer player Evan Turner's pool after his "truck hauling dirt down a steep portion of Southwest Upper Hall Street Wednesday morning left the road and tumbled down an embankment," the O reports. "Portland Fire & Rescue Bureau rescuers scrambled down a hillside after the crash, reported at 8:49 a.m., to reach the driver's cab which was partially submerged in pool water, said bureau spokeswoman Capt. Louisa Jones. While at least one rescuer held the driver's head up from the water, others used the "jaws of life" to pry the damaged steering column from the center console which had pinned the driver inside the vehicle, Jones said. At least eight people participated in the rescue, she said."

"Oregon's second largest Medicaid carrier will shut down, after the company and state officials failed to agree on a contract for 2018," the O writes. "The state must now transfer more than 100,000 children and adults in the Portland area who are currently served by FamilyCare to other Medicaid administrators. Earlier Wednesday, the Oregon Health Authority gave the company just over 24 hours to decide whether to accept the state's 2018 contract proposal."

The Oregon Humane Society seized nine malnourished and neglected horses in Molalla this week.

"Portland lawyer Andrew Long has been suspended at the request of the entity that regulates lawyers, following complaints of stalking, witness-tampering, and the mishandling of client funds," the Portland Tribune reports. "The Oregon State Bar had requested the move despite Long's repeated denials of wrongdoing. In a news release, Bar officials warned that 'complaints against Long include threats of violence, using his position of authority to attempt to force intimate relationships with clients and employees, failure to accurately account for and protect client funds, the appearance of intoxication at court, failure to comply with remedial bar programs, and frequent substance abuse.'"

Oregon State students: Get vaccinated for meningitis.

Apparantly it's the winter solstice today: