While 2017 may have sucked for many, it inspired the people who submit to the I, Anonymous Blog to really kick it up a notch! Here's one from October 2017, in which the anonymous writer confesses to some very naughty behavior—possibly with your socks?

We both work as servers in a restaurant. I have a thing for you, but you don’t even seem to notice me. In fact, when we do work together, you are mean and bossy to me (which I also kinda dig). Lately we’ve been working different shifts, so I haven’t been able to work with you. I miss that, but I’ve found a way to reconnect: You leave your silky socks in your unlocked locker and I wear them in your absence. Prior to this I would just sniff them and occasionally fuck them in the bathroom, but now I full on wear them. You wash them several times a week and I’m careful to not fuck them up. If we aren’t going to work much together anymore, at least I got something to keep me on my toes.—Anonymous

You have dirty secrets too, haven't you? Get them off your conscience by dumping them in the I, Anonymous Blog, where if it's super interesting, it might get chosen for the Mercury print edition, or to be read aloud at the upcoming I, Anonymous Show hosted by Portland's funniest person, Caitlin Weierhauser! It's coming on Wed Jan 3, so get your tix now and here!