Massachusetts: Could weed and food be sold together?
Massachusetts: Could weed and food be sold together?

Massachusetts will roll out their adult-use recreational cannabis program on July 1. But they have gone one step further than any other state, by thinking about how their residents might want to use cannabis outside of their homes. Massachusetts' progressive plan hopes to include consumption spaces that integrate with other businesses, and it's a model Oregon should be examining. (Are you listening, OLCC?)

In December 2017, the Cannabis Control Commission gave their approval for "mixed use licenses," which permit cannabis sales and consumption in the same space, including businesses such as lounges, yoga studios, movie theaters, restaurants, and massage parlors. (Clutches pearls, exclaims "mercy!")

The AP reported that under the proposed rules, smoking lounges and mixed-use businesses could sell "single serving" portions of cannabis. (How they will determine what entails a single serving is TBD). And the cannabis would need to be consumed on site, just as it is with alcohol.

[turns on sarcasm]

What madness is this?! Have regulators even considered what fresh hell this might result in? Cannabis and yoga? So, what, people are going to partake of cannabis and then do poses? What if they fall over and crack their fool stoner heads open, on account of being... too high? Namaste... forever!

Or restaurants? Oh sure, there's a fine idea—I'll just take a bong rip and eat this sandwich, nothing could go wrong wi—GAAAAAAKKKKKK GUUUUHHHH HUUUUUH OH GOD HELP ME MOMMY HUUU AAAAAAAA

That's the sound of a stoner choking to death because he mixed the two things you should never combine: cannabis and food! Looks like "Sammy Stoner" forgot how to chew and swallow after doing his doobie. Hope he enjoyed his last meal.

I'm not going to delve into the thousands of horrible things that could happen if you used cannabis to relax before a massage, but Google "death by over relaxation" to get some insight. Not pretty, is it?

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Nor can I understand why anyone would think that consuming cannabis and watching a movie would be of interest to anyone, anyplace, ever, not to mention the astronomical death toll resulting from the deadly combo of Whoppers and popcorn.

So yeah, I think Massachusetts is in for some pretty dangerous times ahead with these foolhardy decisions, not to mention all the jobs created and tax revenue raised. Thought and prayers....