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Some dumb president is giving some dumb speech tonight, and when it's over, we will all be collectively dumber for having watched it.
In solidarity with Mercury pal Earl Blumenauer (Hi, Earl!) and 12 other Democratic representatives, I'm skipping it. We know all that turd cares about are the ratings, so let's tune out. Here are a bunch of other things you can do tonight instead of watching the State of the Union Address.

1. Go to one of these other events happening in Portland tonight:

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Viet Rahm, Planet What, Ghost Frog, Body Mask
Chicago punk trio Viet Rahm plays the kind of multi-pronged trash-rock that travels well. The group’s two-year existence belies their tightness—2016’s Take Food with Drugs begins with a triple-song mish-mash that segues from the frothing punk of “Drugz” to the nuanced country-rock of “Johnny Cash $uper$tar” to the instrumental jam “Rockability.” The band’s shapeshifting songs offer dynamic energy, smart melodies, and pissy songwriting adventures. Joining Viet Rham are Tulsa-based grunge duo Planet What, whose new album Agnus Yarn sounds like a garage-rock pep rally, and Portland’s own space-punk band Ghost Frog. Their 2017 record Cosmic Bowling is a tour de force, with songs about wanting to be abducted by aliens, poseurs, and all manner of cosmic detritus. RYAN J. PRADO
8 pm, The Know

Bruce Cockburn
The Canadian singer/songwriter and guitarist returns to the Aladdin Theater to perform a set of folk and rock tunes plucked from throughout his 40-year career.
8 pm, Aladdin Theater, $35-40, all ages

Skulldozer, Cobra Thief
Skulldozer and Cobra Thief spearhead the latest installment in the Tonic Lounge's "Heavy Tuesdays" series, bringing you sets from a pair of local rock/psych/sludge/metal acts, with $2 entry and $2 beers to sweeten the deal.
9 pm, Tonic Lounge, $2

2. Go to Beulahland and watch the Blazer's game.


3. Have a nice, long happy hour at one of these Portland bars or restaurants.

Support The Portland Mercury

4. Go from slactivism to activism with our resistance and solidarity calendar and plan something productive for later this week.

5. Don't hate yourself and get your shit together!
The Mercury has a whole helpful feature on how to fix your life organizationally, financially, hygienically, socially, and healthily.