Because we love you more than life itself, every year the Mercury happily publishes YOUR VALENTINES to your loved ones FOR FREE (!!) in our annual Valentine’s Day Issue.

Let’s face it—the internet is good for a number of things... primarily free porn... but is TERRIBLE at expressing love. That’s why writing a FREE (!!) valentine to your schmoopy-woopy and getting it published in an actual newspaper that your sweetie can actually hold in their sweaty hands is still the best way to show you care.

And OH, it’s so easy to make your lover’s dream a reality:

• Simply go to portlandmercury.com/valentines

• Type in your sweetheart’s name or alias.

• Write an extremely romantic and nether-moistening love note of 150 words or less.

• Hit “submit,” and then get lots of rest. Because when your romantic interest sees her/his/their love note from you in the Mercury Reader Valentines Issue on February 14? They are going to be keeping you up allllllll night. With smoochies!

SO DON’T DELAY! The deadline for print is Monday, February 12! Submit your FREE (!!) Mercury Reader Valentine today at portlandmercury.com/valentines.

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Remember: It’s Not True Love... Until They Read It in the Paper!