NOPE. JUST NOPE. An Oregon woman is the first American known to have had parasitic worms living between her eye and eyelid. At least 14 of them. "A week later, while she was on a fishing boat, she removed a small, translucent worm from her eye." NOPE.
You know the former aide to former Mayor Sam Adams who last year accused Adams of sexual harassment and a multitude of unprofessional behavior? He'll speak about those allegations publicly in front of Portland City Council this week.
Turns out Portland Public Schools started cutting a substitute teacher out of jobs when she reported that a teacher had made ugly sexual advances toward her when she was a student. It's just the latest fallout in the O's stellar coverage of Mitch Whitehurst's fall from grace.
The governor yesterday pardoned a former Portland gang member who's since dedicated his life to steering teens away from violence.
The Trib notes that Charles McGee, founder of the Black Parent Initiative who was formerly planning a run at county office, has fallen out of sight ever since a shattering Willamette Week piece that detailed accusations of sexual assault against McGee and another man. Read that story if you haven't.
HEY LOOK! The Merc's Megan Burbank wrote a kick-ass piece for Teen Vogue. Good news for Teen Vogue, and you, and teens.
"Mr. Trump’s budget statement calls deficits the harbingers of a 'desolate' future, but the White House plan would add $7 trillion to the deficit over the next 10 years." Yep. Trump released a budget proposal.
Among things proposed in the document (which will not pass in its current form): Replacing a portion of food stamps with a Blue Apron-style meal delivery service. And a tweak that would alter the price some people pay for prescription drugs under Medicare.
Still nowhere to be seen: Funding to help Western states better fight their wildfires, which, as OPB points out, almost was included in the budget expansion deal Congress reached last week.
So: The immigration debate. Senators are currently trying to hash out legislation on the fly that creates a solution for the country's Dreamers, but there's no telling if they'll be successful. And there's definitely no telling whether the House will be on board. Deadline is March 5.