First, a quickie:
I'm going to spare you the long boring intro/background/angst/handwringing and get straight to my question: How can someone be having a satisfactory sex life by only giving head?
Want The Facts
Some people only suck toes and have satisfactory sex lives, WTF. Some people only lay the floor of leather bars in Berlin with funnels in their asses getting pissed in all night long and have satisfactory sex lives. Some people wait until marriage and lose their virginities to their spouses and go to their graves only ever having had sex with one person and have satisfactory sex lives. One person's satisfactory is another person's purgatory and vice-versa. Instead of asking, "What are they doing?", WTF, it's better to ask, "Are they content?" And if they are, well, STFU and BTFO.
So I’m a bi guy who has a lot more experience with women than men. In recent years, my wife’s sex drive has vanished and she’s super uncomfortable even discussing sex, much less having it (at least with me). I want to stay married for the sake of the young kids but I finally hit the frustration wall and decided to hit up good ol’ Craigslist in search of men to fool around with. I’m fundamentally dominant but can enjoy switching to a sub role. What has surprised me—other than the fact that a dom hairy man with a dad bod can be so popular among a certain class of guys—is that some of the guys I’ve gotten together with have so little interest in reciprocation. I’m not complaining—it’s great to be serviced while I talk dirty and boss them around and I’ve been lucky enough to find a regular sub who embraces his servitude to me. He can come if I fuck him and he loves my tongue on his ass but he doesn’t really dig it if I suck his dick. He’s also bi and I think that’s just something he enjoys with his girlfriends and not with me (which is too bad in a way because I do like to suck a nice hard dick but I can live with “just” having someone beg me for my hard cock, etc.) But as I learn more about D/s dynamics, I’m left to wonder why so many str8ish guys enjoy serving another guy but aren’t really into recip? Also, as I want to improve my Dom skill level—any recommended guides to setting up scenes and other useful tips for getting my guy into sub space?
Boy Otherwise Satisfied Sucking
P.S. Where do we find anonymous DL fun now that Craigslist personals are shutting down?
Just like my response above, BOSS, people like what they like and, per Julie Jordan, what's the use of wond'rin? Some subs don't want their Dom to suck them off because, like, they don't.
So you're doing what you need to do to stay married and stay sane. Good for you. Get on PReP, use condoms, be safe, and get tested for everything if and/or when you and the wife start fucking again. It's entirely possible that her libido will come roaring back at some point.
Speaking of CL... it's a
shame tragedy that Craiglist had to remove its personals section due to a misguided sex trafficking bill. A bit from NYTimes for those who haven't been keeping up...
The venerable online classifieds site removed its “personals” section this week, after Congress sent a bill to President Trump aimed at curtailing sex trafficking. Craigslist, little changed since it unveiled its spare text design in 1995 and began to crush the paid print classifieds business, will no longer offer a way for anonymous people to connect for romance or sex.
Fortunately, "Missed Connections" appears to have moved under Craigslist's "Community" section. It's not as helpful or specific as the personals section (R.I.P.), but it's something. But if you're looking for some "downlow" fun, BOSS, there are those little things called apps that can help you. Grindr, Scruff, Feeld, OKCupid, Recon, and even fucking Tinder all have dudes on there looking for discreet play. You can still find what you're looking for—at least for now. Who knows if those sites will fall to the sex panic that led to the passage of that hugely problematic sex trafficking bill. Read more about #SESTA here.
Regarding your last questions, BOSS, here are some resources to improve your Dom "skill level" and helping your subs:
— Dom's Guide To BDSM by Matthew Larocco
— Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams
— The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino and Barbara Carrellas
— The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy