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GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I'll never see you if I had no loot, I'll never see them. I'm just glad I know the truth. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Oregon gives another rousing "fuck yewwwwww" to Trump by joining in the lawsuit against questioning a person's citizenship in the upcoming census.

Multnomah County Republicans believe that students are being "brainwashed" by PPS into not wanting to get killed by guns in their schools. THIS JUST IN... Multnomah County Republicans are idiot dingbats.

Portland developer Homer Williams is stepping up with a late-breaking offer to turn the Wapato Jail into a homeless shelter, right when Multnomah County commissioners are considering a deal to sell it.

Special Counsel Robert Mueller reportedly told Trump he is not currently under criminal investigation... but is it a trap to get him into questioning, where he will most certainly lie and commit perjury? If so... DON'T TELL TRUMP!!

UNRELATED, I'M SURE: Trump tells Baltic leaders, "I think I could have a very good relationship with President Putin." Now, this I believe.

In an astounding bid to waste more taxpayer money, Trump is considering sending military troops to guard the border where he intends on building a wall.

For those who fucking hate EPA Chief Scott Pruitt, rejoice! Because he's the latest administration official currently in Trump's crosshairs.

Today is the 50th anniversary of the assassination of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.—and the four days that followed his death changed America forever.

BECAUSE GUNS KEEP US SAFER: "A woman with a gun opened fire Tuesday at YouTube’s headquarters, shooting three other people and then turning the handgun on herself and committing suicide in an outburst of violence that sent terrified employees fleeing to the streets, officials said."

Police have identified the YouTube attacker as Nasim Najafi Aghdam of Southern California, and the NYT added this disturbing sidenote: "While the police have not provided a possible motive, Ms. Aghdam had alleged that YouTube and Google, which owns it, took measures to hurt her website in search results and reduce the number of views on her videos."

Sinclair Broadcast Group’s Executive Chairman David Smith had this to say about print media: “The print media is so left wing as to be meaningless dribble which accounts for why the industry is and will fade away. Just no credibility.” Says the man who forces his employees to spout embarrassing screeds about "fake news."

Hollywood power couple Channing and Jenna Dewan Tatum have announced their separation in a treacly-worded press release GROSS.

Now let's ponder the WEATHER: Light showers with a high of 58 kicks off a wet end to the week!

And finally, the theme song from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is improved exponentially when rapped in Italian. END OF DISCUSSION!!