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Look: I have more patience with Taylor Swift than most. During her youth, she was a brilliant pop lyricist who was able to capture the romantic ennui of tween-dom unlike any other. And while her noteworthy songwriting skills nowadays have more of a narcissistic, vengeful edge, at least she's still speaking her truth—though she should probably be working out her pettiness on a therapist's couch instead of the listening public.

That being said, THIS TIME SHE'S GONE TOO FAR! Swift has cut a cover single of Earth, Wind, & Fire's upbeat soul classic "September" as a moody, folk banjo-plucker for the Spotify Singles series, AND I WILL NOT HAVE IT. "September" is my go-to song for when I'm feeling at my worst, and a gorgeous, unfuckwithable work of art. But apparently Taylor feels it's okay for her to fuck with the unfuckwithable, because she's produced this hicky piece of honky tripe. I SAY THEE NAY!!!

But listen and decide for yourself. (And don't miss the video for the original "September" below, which will make your heart grow twenty-fold.)