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Kanye gets a quick lesson about slavery.
Kanye gets a quick lesson about slavery. Drew Angerer / Getty Images

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! How could you ever be so cold—to go behind my back and call my friend? Boy, you must have gone and bumped your head, because you left her number on your phone. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Guys! Okay, NOW you can fill out your ballot and vote—because the Mercury's election endorsements have dropped! WOOT WOOT!

In a move that should not shock anyone, like AT ALL, the Oregonian has endorsed anti-rent control/anti-tenants rights candidate Rod Monroe. WE ABSOLUTELY DID NOT.

The organizers of the May Day Coalition held a peaceful, family-friendly picnic yesterday in Lents yesterday to raise awareness about worker's rights instead of staging their annual march downtown. Meanwhile in other parts of the city, there was far less vandalism than usual.

Meanwhile in Seattle:

A second Oregon school district is abstaining from a elementary school book program because one of the books features a transgender child which they ignorantly think is "inappropriate."

A former Nike exec who was fired has pled guilty to two counts of wire fraud, in which he gave super great discounts to two outside companies in order to "enrich himself."

Things apparently got a wee bit tense in a meeting between Robert Mueller and Trump's lawyers when the special prosecutor dropped a hint that he may subpoena the president if he doesn't answer his questions.

Meanwhile a few Republican Trumpers have drafted an article of impeachment aimed at Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein—but he literally laughed at them, saying the Department of Justice "is not going to be extorted."

Surprise, surprise! A lobbyist helped entirely corrupt EPA chief Scott Pruitt take a controversial $100,000 trip to Morocco—which of course included luxury hotels, eight staffers, and an around-the-clock security detail... because Scott Pruitt!

Trump's former doctor who once wrote a letter exorbitantly praising the president's health admits that Trump told him exactly what to write.

Kanye West continued his most recent "mental breakdown tour" giving a very ill-informed interview to TMZ, in which he called slavery "a choice." Thank god then for TMZ staffer Van Lathan who refused to have any of that and took West down in the most satisfying of ways. PLEASE READ IT!

Related: Police swarmed a Black former Obama staffer who was moving into a new apartment, because they thought he was a burglar.

The Simpsons' creator Matt Groening just shot himself in his stupid foot by dismissing concerns about the show's racist Apu characterization, saying that "people love to pretend they're offended." Bye-bye, Matt!

Facebook is releasing a new dating service to compete with Tinder—except the only available singles will be Russians. I KID! I KID! America, what a country!

Now let's check out this WEATHER situation: Another sunny warm stretch with highs in the mid-70s until I say different!

And finally, SHEEP! SHEEEEEEEEEP! Get out me garden! (I love angry Scottish people more than life itself.)