The Portland Thorns lost a second consecutive home match 2-1 to the Orlando Pride on Saturday. FISH STICKS AND DOUBLE CLICKS—LOSING ISN’T FUN! This was the first time the Orlando Pride have defeated the Thorns in franchise history. FISTS THROUGH SHEETROCK! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN IN OUR OWN HOUSE!? Saturday was a stunningly beautiful day in the Rose City and over 17 thousand fans showed up to cheer the home team. Too bad we only walked away with a loss and some weird sunburn lines.
IN A NUTSHELL
Things started off HOT AND HEAVY early in the first half when a Thorns goal from a corner kick was called back due to offsides in the 7th minute. NUGGET BUSTER! The energy was up, the tan lines were weird and per usual, the nachos looked better than they tasted.
Soon thereafter, Orlando favorite Alex Morgan struck gold with a goal after a defensive error.
FRUSTRATING ? YES.
READY TO GIVE UP? NO!!
At that point, someone sitting near me handed me an 8-month-old baby and things suddenly felt optimistic. The Thorns can come back from a 1-0 deficit! Sheesh, just a week ago, the Thorns came back several times against the Reign, a much better team than the Pride! There are 90 minutes in a soccer game, NOT JUST TEN! The ladies in red can do this!
But again in the 21st minute, the Pride’s Christine Nairn turned a zero chance ball into a second Pride goal from well outside the goal box. SOMEBODY CALL A DOCTOR, I THINK I’M GOING TO BE SICK!
Hope for the Thorns finally arrived via a delicious corner kick served by Tobin Heath to the top of Christine Sinclair’s head in the 23rd minute. The game was far from over, but there was a glimmering light that kept fans RIVETED.
In past matches, the Thorns return from halftime with a new plan of attack and clearer ideas on how to get closer to shots that matter. This was not the case on Saturday. The Pride were relentless and shut the Thorns down where Portland was so used to finding scoring outlets. WHY GOD WHYYYYY!?
And even after unraveling some of the Pride’s defense, the officiating knotted things up for Portland and made what was already difficult just about impossible. It was a tough loss. If I wasn’t so sunstroked and dehydrated, I could have mustered up some tears of frustration, but, alas, I held my shit together... for once.
MAKING SENSE AND LEMONADE
Sure, I could make excuses. The Thorns were without defensive leader Meghan Klingenberg and midfield mayhem maker Hayley Raso. Not to mention Thorn goalie extraordinaire AD Franch is still out of commission with an injury. AND I WOULD BE REMISS IF I DID NOT MENTION THE REFEREE and the ridiculous call that refused a Portland goal in the second half after a Tony award winning performance by Pride goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris. IT WAS BETTER THAN CATS. Sure, we are not playing with a full deck, but any way you cut the tape and watch the replays, our beloved Thorns have some work to do. And I have not doubt that our beloved Thorns will end the season in a much better way.
I am optimistic, sunburnt and excited for the next game. Losing at Providence Park still makes for a fantastic Saturday, despite the lackluster nachos.
Things I learned at this game:
-Losing is better when you are holding a stranger’s baby.
-Coors Light is delicious on a hot day.
-It’s best to not invent new cuss words when sitting with your partner’s new work friends.
-Not everyone agrees with my theory that “There’s always room for body rolls.”
The Portland Thorns hit the road once again to meet up with the Washington Spirit on Saturday May 20 at at 4 pm (Pacific). You can watch it here.
The next Thorns home match is on Friday May 25 against the Utah Royals. Grab your tickets here!