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Good morning, Portland! There's a lot of depressing news today, so I thought I'd start with Sen. Ted "Zodiac Killer" Cruz attacking Stephen King on Twitter.

The Ol' Trump 180: After tearing NATO a new butthole with sweeping threats to pull out of the international alliance (a move that no one in Congress supports), Trump backpedaled yesterday, instead calling NATO "very unified, very strong, no problem." He took credit for all of the work the other 27 leaders have been cranking out while he's been planning which tie to wear to meet Putin.

While we're on the topic of Trump's baseless grumblings: What's his beef with Germany, one the United States' closest allies? It's not doing us any favors.

On a Roll: Remember when Trump pardoned the Hammond ranchers Tuesday for setting public land on fire in Oregon? We've made a list a few additional Oregonians Trump should pardon while he's at it.

EVERYTHING'S FIXED OKAY: In a cheery press release sent out this morning, the US Department of Homeland Security and Health and Human Services announced it had "completed" reuniting immigrant children under the age of five with their parents (after being forcibly separated upon entering the US). Turns out, that means the feds only returned half of those babies and toddlers to their parents—and offered very vague reasons why. This dystopian infographic doesn't help:


The Damage is Done: For parents who have been lucky enough to be reunited with their young kids, they've been met with tears and screams of fear. Many of the toddlers have been seperated from their parents for so long, they no longer recognize them. Plus, these babies have an immense, understandable fear of strangers.

In Other Scared Baby News: Law enforcement found a 5-month-old (living) baby boy buried under sticks and debris in the Montana woods. According to the man who left him there, the baby was just "too heavy."

The death toll in the Japan floods has risen to 200 (since this below tweet was made):

Last piece of terrible news, I promise: A 91-year-old Latino man enjoying a stroll in his Los Angeles neighborhood was violently attacked on the Fourth of July by a woman who told him to "go back to Mexico." She hit him in the head with a piece of cement. Humans are terrible.

San Francisco has elected its first female Black mayor!

Get a Pizza That: The OG Papa John, who I honestly don't care enough about to look up his last name, has resigned from the company he created after using the N-word in a conference call.

Meanwhile, In Oregon: Victims of hate crimes are feeling ignored and unanswered by the justice system. Law enforcement say its the state law that's to blame.

Office Politics: Will a new chief of staff fix the transparency problem with Mayor Ted Wheeler's office? (Answer: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

ICE Arrests: Federal police arrested eight Occupy ICE protesters yesterday who were blocking a vehicle from leaving the Immigration and Customs Enforcement facility in Southwest Portland.

Cheap Lunch: This week's Mercury contains a bottomless, never-seen-before list of Portland's most excellent and inexpensive lunches. Pick up a paper or check 'em out online!

Here's an important, beautifully-executed video about the massive population the #metoo movement has ignored: