GOOD MORNING, Portland! It's gonna be hot again today but just a kiss less than yesterday. How many more years 'til all the dudes get out here in their sundresses too? You know you'll look so casual and free. It's happening soon so you'd better not skip leg day!
FACEBOOK VENTING: Portland Police Association President Daryl Turner went off on the PPA Facebook page yesterday (always a sign of clear, level-headed decision-making), calling our city a "cesspool." Turner blames panhandlers for the garbage and trash he sees, failing to note that tourists themselves cause a good amount of garbage. [SUZETTE RESPONDS: As a person that lives downtown, I can personally attest to the littering styles of our city's visitors, and the bodily fluids coming out of merry-makers every weekend. It's unfair to blame everything on the homeless. Summer is kind of stinky, y'all.]
BAD PRESIDENT QUALITY TIME: Nationwide, people are tearing their hair out over Trump declaring that he believes, despite reports from U.S. intelligence, Russian president Vladimir Putin when Putin says that Russia did not interfere with the 2016 U.S. election. I'm not sure why we're surprised by this, but I can tell that you're upset and I'm really trying to be there for you. He's not going to change. You have to leave him.
WHAT IS A NATO EVEN: The New York Times' Daily podcast had a good catch-up history episode on the creation of NATO, which was essentially a post-WW2 neighborhood watch group with the aim of keeping Russia from invading all of Europe. Putin and Trump meeting directly after the NATO summit in Brussels is like some playground faux superiority bullshit, for real, but just because they're childish doesn't mean we're not about to be Russia.
COOL MARS NEWS: Have you been looking at Mars? I was riding my bike and I was like… uh oh. What the hell is that? It was Mars! The last time Mars was this close to the Earth was fifteen years ago. Lookin’ loud and proud, Mars will continue to give us that dazzling ruby of the skies fierceness until the end of July, after which she will slowly diminish. How are my Arises feeling? CALM DOWN, ARIES. Mars won’t be this pumped again until 2035 so take advantage of these recording-breakingly warm nights and look that planet named after the ancient god of war directly in its face.
SOUP COMIC: Here's a fantastic comic food writing piece by former Portlander (for like a year?) Angie Wang. You may remember her from the hyper romantic illustrations she did for the Mercury's 2013 Valentine's issue. Wang's style has really changed here, unrolling in a long blog-friendly scroll. She reminisces about a clear noodle soup she loved when she lived in Beijing. Her attempts to find it again, in different U.S. cities, reveal the soup's own history and cultural migration.
SUPER SAMATHA: Did you ever wonder about the Tweet inside joke that got Grimes and Grimes’ Boyfriend started talking (tweeting)? Behold: Roko's Basilisk. No one explains it better than thoughtful humor vlogger Zac Little: