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Im just going to leave this secretly recorded tape of Trump right here. Byeeee!
"I'm just going to leave this secretly recorded tape of Trump right here. Byeeee!" Spencer Platt / Getty

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Tell all the boys, I keep it low. If I say no, would you turn away? Or play me off, or would you stay? LET'S GO TO PRESS.

The remaining Occupy ICE PDX protesters have been cleared from their encampment around ICE headquarters this morning after five weeks of occupation.

Republican Multnomah County Commissioner Lori Stegmann has changed her political affiliation to Democrat in response to the racism of the GOP.

A Liberty High School student who wore a racist, pro-Trump shirt to school and was told to cut that shit out has been awarded $25,000 in damages—which will probably be entirely spent on whippets, right?

A new Quinnipiac poll taken after the president's disastrous Helsinki performance shows that most Americans think Putin has compromising information on Trump. Meanwhile 49 percent are embarrassed that Trump is our president. Hey, count me in!

In a stinging rebuke to his old boss, lawyer Michael Cohen released a secretly taped recording of Trump discussing ways to silence model Karen McDougal about their affair before the 2016 election. Hmmm... if memory serves, I believe I recall Bill Clinton getting impeached for a somewhat similar situation.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA:


The White House plans to bail out farmers to the tune of $12 billion to make up for Trump's insane and unnecessary trade war.

Yesterday, after strongly (then weakly, then strongly again) denying that Russia criminally interfered with our election, Trump now thinks the Russians are going to attack again... in favor of the Democrats! (Does this finally make him stupider than the people who voted for him? It's like a chicken-and-the-egg situation!)

Trump also told a crowd of veterans yesterday that "What you're seeing and what you're reading is not what's happening." Oh, how very Orwellian of him!

The president reportedly had a freakout after seeing that Melania Trump's television on Air Force One was tuned to CNN instead of Fox News. Oh, how very Orwellian of him! In response, Melania's spokeswoman said that, actually, the First Lady will watch whatever the FUCK she wants. (That's not a direct quote.)


Georgia Republican lawmaker Jason Spencer is resigning after being duped on Sasha Baron Cohen's show to reveal his true racist self.

A white suspect with a very violent past has been charged in the unprovoked stabbing death of a Black woman onboard an Oakland BART train.

Here's a headline that will not surprise you, but you should really pay attention to: "Killings of black people less likely to lead to arrests than white victims."

Singer and mental health advocate Demi Lovato is awake and recovering today after being taken to the hospital for an apparent drug overdose.

SOME GOOD NEWS: A Swedish student bought a plane ticket and then refused to sit down in order to stop an asylum seeker from Afghanistan from being unfairly deported.

Now let's look at this HOT WEATHER: Surprise! MORE HOT. In fact, just expect hot until I tell you otherwise.

And finally...