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Lets see... how will I obstruct the Mueller probe today?
"Let's see... how will I obstruct the Mueller probe today?" Getty Images

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I feel like I've been locked up tight for a century of lonely nights. Waiting for someone to release me. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

A Columbia Gorge wildfire on the Washington side has grown to 11,000 acres overnight, putting homes and livestock in danger.

Mark Roberts, an independent Oregon candidate running for congress and a seemingly all-around terrible person, called Melania Trump a "hoebag" on Twitter.

The FBI agent who shot Malheur occupier Robert "LaVoy" Finicum in 2016 is in court, and in the uncomfortable position of having his smartass comments following the shooting read back to him.

Snowflake employees of ICE are complaining that Mayor Wheeler didn't do enough to protect them from protesters who surrounded their Portland office for weeks. Poor babies.

Facebook discovers that (surprise!) there are people using fake accounts to actively sway the coming midterm elections.

The trial of Paul Manafort—former campaign manager for Trump—kicked off yesterday with the defense blaming anyone in the world other than Manafort for his woes. Meanwhile, the not-at-all defensive Donald Trump is saying obstructing, Trump-y things.


In their latest attempt to do an end run around Obamacare, the White House is pushing short, sketchy insurance plans that would not cover preexisting conditions or basic health needs.

Apparently the Koch brothers are feuding with Trump publicly—even while the president plans more tax cuts for billionaires. If something about that doesn't smell right, you are correct.

Speaking of lies, Donald Trump's lies have almost doubled from this time last year.

RELATED: Trump told a crowd of similarly stupid supporters that you need a picture ID to buy groceries at the store, because... he's never been to a grocery store in his life?

A US district judge has temporarily blocked the internet release of blueprints for printable 3-D guns, and... that's not going to stop crazy people, is it?

Goddammit. It is ethically wrong for me to get excited about this headline, but... well, here I am: "Thieves steal Sweden’s crown jewels and escape in a speedboat."

And now, how about some WEATHER: Oh thank god, we're on a cooling trend with a much more reasonable high today of 85 degrees.

And finally, e-scooters are absolutely safe guys! Until of course they explode in your living room.