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Good morning, Portland! Here's some news to start yer day:

Someone Gets a Cookie: Some self-righteous senior staffer in the Trump administration published an anonymous editorial in the New York Times yesterday, patting themselves on the back for being part of the "resistance" within the sewage pit that is the Trump White House.

No Cookie: As it turns out, no one is very proud of this secretive Trump savior. New York Magazine called them a "moral coward", the Atlantic's David Frum said the op-ed has ignited a "constitutional crisis," and Esquire suggested the self-congratulatory author "just shut up and quit."

Meanwhile, on Capitol Hill: Brett Kavanaugh slides into his third day of his confirmation hearing before the Senate. And, thanks to yet another secret source for the NYT, we now know that Kavanaugh doubted the certainty of Roe v. Wade when he was a White House lawyer during the Bush administration. Someone better bring that shit up today. Here's the highlight of yesterday's hearing, in which Senator Kamala Harris asks Kavanaugh some straightforward questions about the Mueller investigation. (P.S. HARRIS KNOWS SOMETHING).

On the Other Side of the Capitol Building: Twitter boss Jack Dorsey testified before House and Senate committees about moderating online content. Lawmakers quickly turned the hearings into a partisan argument, but Dorsey managed to come out unscathed. I'd argue the most important moment of the House hearing was when Representative Billy Long drowned out a protester by imitating an auctioneer.

Meanwhile, Outside of DC: India's Supreme Court just decriminalized gay sex! It's a huge step towards equality for the country's long-penalized LGBTQ community.

Ninth Circuit Takes On Homelessness: Your favorite former Mercury news editor Dirk considered the impact of a major new ruling from the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals that overrules Boise's ban on sleeping in public spaces. Portland's city attorney says it won't impact our version of the anti-camping ordinance—but she has a difficult time explaining why.

Policing the Police: Portland City Council has approved some key changes to the long-bungled community panel tasked with overseeing police reform. Third time's the charm?

MAXed Out: TriMet's considering closing four underutilized MAX stations in downtown Portland, promising to cut 2 minutes off the cross-town commute.

Goops! Gwyntyh Paltrow's weird lifestyle brand Goop has settled a $145,000 lawsuit after falsely telling women to put rocks in their vaginas FOR HEALTH!

Thanks, Internet: If you cut Donald Trump out of a photo and replace him with a penguin, it somehow makes more sense. Examples below.