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Manafort pleads guilty, sentenced to walking around with traitor sign hovering above him.
Manafort pleads guilty, sentenced to walking around with "traitor" sign hovering above him. Alex Wong / Staff / Getty Images

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Can't keep running boy, in and out my life. Want to be your girl, not cause the mood is right. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

A Multnomah County grand jury cleared two PSU officers of shooting and killing Jason Washington outside of an off-campus bar after he was trying to break up a fight. People who think campus cops shouldn't be allowed to carry firearms in the first place are not happy.

Some good news: Oregon's gender wage gap is finally shrinking—though still a bit too slowly for our taste.

A woman protester who suffered third-degree burns on her arms and chest from a Portland Police flash-bang grenade during the latest Patriot Prayer rally plans on suing the city.

Today in Internet Justice: A video of a woman in Portland spewing hateful, racist rhetoric went viral and the idiot racist has allegedly been tracked down and "no longer works at" her job.

The eye of Hurricane Florence hit North Carolina this morning with winds of 90 mph—which is definitely less than expected, but heavy rains are posing the biggest danger.

Because he's clearly the worst leader this country has ever had the misfortune of having, Trump spent time he should have been devoting to Hurricane Florence by screeching that his opponents are inflating the Puerto Rican death count to make him look bad. Nearly 3,000 people actually died.

Meanwhile the Philippines are preparing for the onslaught of a "super typhoon" bringing heavy rains and winds whipping up to 170 mph.

According to reports, Paul "Paulie Pickles" Manafort is is pleading guilty in order to avoid going to trial over his shady Russian dealings in Ukraine. The big question: Will he flip, and how much tea will he spill?

In New York, Gov. Cuomo defeated progressive challenger Cynthia Nixon to be the state's Democratic nominee for governor, while Letitia James was the state's pick to become the party's attorney general (who will be New York's first Black woman to hold the position if she wins).

Gas explosions rocked three Massachusetts towns killing one and injuring more than 20.

Democrats continue to viciously fight against the confirmation of Trump SCOTUS pick Brett Kavanaugh, with Sen. Dianne Feinstein cryptically warning she's referring the nominee to the FBI for alleged sexual misconduct when he was a youth.

Today in Draining the Swamp: "The State Department spent $52,701 last year buying customized and mechanized curtains for the picture windows in Nikki R. Haley’s official residence as ambassador to the United Nations, just as the department was undergoing deep budget cuts and had frozen hiring." UPDATE: The NYT has adjusted this story since the money was actually requisitioned during the Obama administration.

Willie Nelson is going to play a concert in support of popular Texas Democratic candidate Beto O'Rourke, and (surprise!) some of his fans aren't pleased (but can go fuck themselves).

GOSSIP TIME: Did Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin get secretly married? Because they were spotted sneaking in to NYC's marriage license office.

Now let's examine the WEATHER FORECAST: Cloudy and dry today with a high of 69, and a scattered showery weekend.

And finally, do you ever feel like this lizard, who's rescued by a hot Australian guy at the pool, only to be snatched up and a bird and helplessly devoured? Yeah. Same.