The Siren Theater's BRAND NEW Best Christmas Ever!
Somebody has to say it: Holiday spectaculars are reliably unspectacular. But not when they star the gut-busting geniuses at the Siren Theater. That’s right! Charming goofballs Shelley McLendon, Erin Jean O'Regan, Justin Himes, and the Mercurys own Wm. Steven Humphrey (to name just a few!) are back with an all-new sketch comedy holiday treat. Turn off Netflix’s Yule Log and get out there! (Fri-Sat 8 pm, Siren Theater, $12-20) MEGAN BURBANK

Black Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Every year, the Woodlawn neighborhood gets a jump on the holiday season by being one of the first stops Santa makes anywhere in Portland, sitting down with every kid who comes to see him, taking a picture, giving out candy canes, and most importantly—listening to all the things good children really, really want for Christmas this year. (2 pm, Woodlawn MIC, free, all ages)

The St. Johns Winter Beer Fest & Record Show
The St. Johns Winter Beer Fest returns for its 8th year, with over 20 breweries offering up their finest IPA’s, winter ales, stouts, and barleywines to pair with food from an array of trucks including Urban German and The Other Chef. Plus—for the first time ever—Crate Diggers and Discogs will host a free record fair on Friday and Saturday in conjunction with the festivities. Admission nets you a commemorative glass and ten tasting tickets. (Fri-Sun 2 pm, The Colony, $20)

It's a Wonderful Life
The holiday classic beloved by those valiantly fighting the slow, crushing, and inevitable truth that their lives have not mattered at all! The cherished Christmas tradition, remembered fondly as a black-and-white barrel of warm fuzzies, about a suicidal child abuse victim whose fuckup uncle nearly sinks his savings and loan, but realizes abandoning his wife and children for all eternity to roast in Hell is a bad idea thanks to a helpful guardian angel who shows him how much shittier his tycoon-ruled small town would be if he wasn't in it. MERRY CHRISTMAS, BEDFORD FALLS! (7:10 pm, Academy Theater, $3-4, all ages) BOBBY ROBERTS

Tender Table Fundraiser
Tasty food and stories from women and nonbinary BIPOC (Black/Indigenous/People of Color) pair extremely well together. Support another season of the Tender Table event series by attending an evening filled with food, stories, and plenty of music from local women and nonbinary BIPOC artists and presenters to boot. (7 pm, Chapel Hill) EMILLY PRADO

The Soft Moon, Hide, Vive la Void
After spending nearly a decade in Oakland making moody, motorik-paced post-punk for the pop-leaning Captured Tracks record label, the Soft Moon’s Luis Vasquez used this year’s Criminal—his fourth studio album—as an opportunity to make a few changes. Now living in Berlin, Vasquez signed a new deal with the experimentally inclined Sacred Bones and unleashed an album full of intensely confessional industrial synth-rock (à la Nine Inch Nails) that tackles the lingering effects of his difficult childhood. The result is an urgent and unnerving work of exploration, self-reflection, resignation, and redemption that lifts the veil on Vasquez and puts him at the front of his music for the first time. (9 pm, Wonder Ballroom, $16-18, all ages) BEN SALMON

Blue Cranes, Wayne Horvitz Trio
The Jack London Revue plays host to an evening of experimental and improvisational jazz with Portland's Blue Cranes and Seattle-based keyboardist Wayne Horvitz and his backing band. (9 pm, Jack London Revue, $12-15)

Night Birds, Macho Boys, Bothers, Death Ridge Boys
New Jersey’s hardcore traditionalists Night Birds specialize in the kind of snotty punk rock that was born for skate videos and victimless teenage crimes. It’s the sound of dropping out of high school, or at least avoiding it as much as possible. The sound of suburban knuckleheads looking for a reason to sneer. The sound of your first mohawk slicing through the air as you dive into a roiling pit filled with other silly and pissed and righteously obnoxious kids who might kinda feel the same way you do. Were those good times? Not really. But the music was pretty all right. (8:30 pm, Tonic Lounge, $13-15) CHRIS STAMM

D.O.A., Dwarves, MDC
Canadian hardcore punk pioneers D.O.A. return to Dante's to celebrate their 40th anniversary alongside likeminded punk rock luminaries Dwarves and MDC. (9 pm, Dante's, $18)

Sean Rowe, Girl Blue
The alternative folk and blues singer/songwriter out of Troy, New York returns to Portland in support of his 2017 full-length, New Lore. (9 pm, Doug Fir, $16-18)

Blockhead, Yppah, Arms & Sleepers
An evening of experimental beats with Tony Simon (AKA Blockhead), the renowned NYC-based hip-hop producer known for his collaborations with Aesop Rock as well as his solo releases on the Ninja Tune label. (9 pm, Star Theater, $15)

Four Horsemen
Tribute Night and Ante Up PDX join forces once again for another DJ-dealt battle royale, but instead of just your basic head to head, they're presenting a four-way fight between hip-hop all-stars J. Cole, Kanye West, Drake, and Kendrick Lamar. (Spoilers: Kendrick isn't the fuckin' king for nothin') (8 pm, Holocene, $10)

Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!