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Its a good day to take a dump on Trump.
It's a good day to take a dump on Trump. T.J. Kirkpatrick / Getty

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! I just know that it feels wrong when I'm away too long, it makes my body hot. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Trump is especially panicky today because Special Counsel Robert Mueller is scheduled to release another info drop—this time about the president's former co-conspirators Michael Cohen and Paul Manafort.

For someone who despises undocumented workers so much, Donald Trump doesn't seem to mind hiring them to work at his golf clubs, even giving one a White House commendation.

Trump is nominating the executive power-loving William P. Barr (who supported the firing of former FBI chief James Comey) as his choice for Attorney General, and rumor has it that Chief of Staff John Kelly is finally ready to step down from his position—though not soon enough to save his now tattered reputation.

In other idiotic Trump hiring news, this headline: "Heather Nauert cited D-Day as the height of U.S.-German relations. Now she’s headed to the U.N."

The more we learn about the North Carolina voter fraud scandal, the worse it looks for Republicans. Now we find out that the state's GOP knew about voting irregularities before the election and conveniently ignored them.

Meanwhile it turns out that North Carolina's presumed winner of Bladen County's congressional race, the GOP's Mark Harris, still owes money to the "turn out the vote" workers who allegedly collected absentee ballots and then illegally filled them out. Since Harris is probably very much involved with this voter fraud scandal, his opponent, Democrat Dan McCready, has reversed his concession.

Former FBI director James Comey is being summoned to testify behind closed doors in front of a shady GOP committee investigating supposed improprieties by the feds during the 2016 election.

Comedian actor Kevin Hart is out as host for the Oscars after the internet dug up some of his homophobic tweets.

Kendrick Lamar tops the list of Grammy nominations, with lots of women getting the nod as well.

IN LOCAL NEWS: The Oregon Transportation Commission has decided to move forward with a plan that could eventually bring tolling to I-5. (Oh, no! That means Patriot Prayer won't visit anymore!)

Because they're big, dumb jerks who make ugly clothes, Under Armour has legally threatened a small Oregon business for also using the word "armor."

It's the Timbers vs. Atlanta United for the MLS Cup tomorrow, and everyone is expectedly HYPED. Check out the match preview from Blogtown's footy correspondent Abe Asher.

And the Blazers finally end their nerve-wracking losing streak by defeating the Phoenix Suns, 108-86.

Now let's peer at today's WEATHER: Another cool, breezy day with a high of 47!

And finally, I think it's high time that we all say hello to the current top presidential contender for 2020, "Mr. Murderbritches."