Stay up to date on Portland news and politics. Looking for fun? Here are the best Things to Do in Portland today.

KATHLEEN_MARIE.jpg
KATHLEEN MARIE

Good morning, Portland! You'll have to forgive me, I don't have anything snappy to say this morning because I just watched this video of a West Virginia lawmaker threatening to drown his kids if they came out as queer, and all I can think is, What a shithead what a shithead what a shithead.

Now that we've reached our shithead quota for the morning, here are the headlines!

To Zone or Not to Zone? Oregon lawmakers are considering getting rid of single-family zoning—something that would allow denser housing in virtually any residential neighborhood in the state. The bill drew many supporters and doubters at its first legislative hearing yesterday.

The Snow That Never Was: Snow said thank u, next to Portland over this weekend, and that decision appears to be sticking: while there's no snow to speak of, Portlanders can expect some possible light flooding instead.

And Not a Drop to Drink: Despite snow's surprise guest spot this February, Oregon mountains still don't have enough snowpack to provide the western part of the state with water, OPB reports.

Dysfunctional In Its Own Way: To paraphrase the Anna Kerenina principle, every dysfunctional city government is dysfunctional in its own way. Portland is unique in having a commission system of management, something no other city in the country can claim. According to a new report, it's rendering the council ineffective—read our Alex Zielinski's analysis here.

Skin-Crawling: StreetRoots' excellent "Life On the Streets" column shines a light on homeless issues that might not get mainstream coverage. Its most recent installment: exploring the excruciating problem of having parasites when you're houseless. "It was terrible. Just a nightmare," one homeless person says. "I wanted to jump off a building or go drown myself.”

Rights for the Non-Religious: The Portland City Council will consider an ordinance that would add atheists and other non-believers to the list of protected classes under the city code.

In National News: House and Senate leaders are working on a deal to keep the federal government open permanently—imagine that!—that won't include funding for Trump's border wall (imagine that!).

But How Will This Affect My Predictions Sheet? Continuing a string of bad decisions that I think must have started in 2006 when Crash won best picture, the Academy announced yesterday that four Oscars that have been shown on TV in recent years will now be presented during commercial breaks. The awards are for live action short, as well as cinematography, editing, and make-up—you know, everything that actually makes a movie fun to watch.

Consider Yourself Warned: