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"Hi! My report is almost done. Anybody interested?" T.J. Kirkpatrick / Getty News

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! She turns on TV, guess who she sees? Skater boy rockin' up MTV. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Tensions are palpable and rising in Washington, DC (especially with Trump and his criminal cronies) regarding rumors that Attorney General William Barr is on the verge of announcing that the much-anticipated Mueller report might be dropping soon. (BUT CHILL! It could be weeks before the American public learns anything of value. Here's a helpful guide to lead you through what will probably be a nail-biting process.)

Former FBI Director James Comey says he doesn't know what the Mueller investigation will reveal, and he "doesn't care," citing the primary need that it needs to be an open and transparent process.

Meanwhile Trump is warning that "the people" will not stand for it if Mueller's report says anything negative about him. Oh, I think "the people" might be okay with it.

Why does Trump keep attacking the late John McCain? The answer makes perfect, evil sense.

White Nationalist enthusiast Rep. Steve King, in a bid to convince people he's even a bigger dick than previously expected, mocked Hurricane Katrina victims.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE EMAILS?: Democrats accuse Jared "JARED!" Kushner and Ivanka Trump of using private emails and messaging to conduct government business, just like a certain "Hillary Clinton" we know.

The European Union has approved an extension for Brexit until May 22 IF the British Parliament can agree on Prime Minister Theresa May's plan—you know, the one that's already failed twice. Good luck, I guess!

The governor of Mississippi has signed an anti-abortion law that's one of the strictest in America, and would ban the medical procedure even before a woman knew she was pregnant.

Human whack-a-mole Roseanne Barr is popping up again in a bid to grab our attention, but she's not saying anything of interest. IGNORE.

GOOD NEWS: A Wisconsin judge has blocked the state's Republican legislators from their desperate, last minute attempts to strip power from incoming Democratic Governor Tony Evers.


IN LOCAL NEWS: Advocates for low-income renters aren't exactly thrilled for an Oregon senate bill that would cap annual rent increases statewide. Our Alex Zielinski explains why!

The Department of Human Services—which runs the state's foster kid and welfare system—revealed they were the victim of a large data breach that may have exposed the personal information of 350 clients.

Now let's look at today's WEATHER SITUATION: A mostly sunny morning will give way to a rainy afternoon with a high of 58. But it's looking like a dry, sunny Sunday Funday!

And finally, a man tests Petco's "all pets welcome on a leash" policy by bringing his little friend.