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So is Mueller going to testify or not? Gaaaaah! FRUSTRATING!
So is Mueller going to testify or not? Gaaaaah! FRUSTRATING! T.J. Kirkpatrick / Getty News

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! If you compare me to your local grocery, then you'll see I got more carrots than aisle D. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Democrats are frustrated (OH YA THINK?) that Trump's subpoena-ignoring stance and refusal to cooperate with Congress is working. Even worse, it's still not certain if Robert Mueller is going to agree to testify publicly.

Also frustrated? Donald Trump, who's tapping the brakes on his hawkish aides who seem dead-set on going to war with Iran.

Frustrated as well are the engineers for Trump's border wall who are growing weary of the president's weird, sadistic requests for the wall's design, such as painting it black with spikes at the top.

A judge has ordered prosecutors to release the transcript of a call between Trump crony Michael Flynn and a Russian envoy that promises to reveal more about Russian interference in our election.


During a disciplinary hearing for the officer who choked Eric Garner to death, it was revealed that the cop's commander said the man's death was "not a big deal."

Missouri is joining Alabama and Georgia in attempting to pass a draconian anti-abortion law that would ban the medical procedure after eight weeks. Meanwhile these craven attempts to limit a woman's right to have control over her own body is being met by a newly invigorated and well-funded fight from women's health advocates. If they wanted a war, now they've got one.

Oh, and while we're on the topic, if you're thinking it's okay to "other" the people in Alabama and other Southern states (such as asking why they don't just move, or secede from the union) who are being aversely affected by a relatively smaller group of Republicans and right wing Christian extremists... why not read this?

Oh, and read this too:


World-famous architect I.M. Pei, known for designing such buildings as the glass pyramid at the Louvre and the Kennedy Library, is dead at the ripe old age of 102.

Also dead, internet sensation Grumpy Cat (the Bart Simpson of the millennial generation) has died at age 7.

In much better news, YAY! Here's a terrific new single from Carly Rae Jepsen! (Goddamn, this came along just in time.)

IN LOCAL NEWS: In a heartbreaking squeaker of a game, the Golden State Warriors snatched victory out of the hands of our hard-battling Blazers, 114-111, in game two of the Western Conference finals.

Lawyers for Peggy Zabroski, the 68-year-old woman who was injured by Portland Police during a 2017 protest, are requesting a new trial saying that the last one, which exonerated the cops, was legally flawed. Our Alex Zielinski has the details.

Gov. Kate Brown has signed a bill into law that will enact a new business tax that promises to raise billions for Oregon's hard-pressed public schools. The trade-off? Killing bills that would've strengthened the state's vaccination rate as well as gun regulations, in order to appease life-hating Republicans.

Public pressure is mounting to defund the Portland Police Bureau's controversial "Gun Violence Reduction Team" (formerly the Gang Enforcement Team)—check out what the cops have to say about that in this report from our Alex Zielinski.

Oregon cannabis shop Nectar is getting sued by a smaller pot shop that it was going to buy, but allegedly never paid for. Our Blair Stenvick has the story.

Okay, let's stop screwing around and look at the WEATHER: More rando showers with a high of 63, and a showery but warmer weekend.

And finally, let's treat each other like this man and this sloth treat each other. (You can be a little quicker on the wave, tho.)