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I am changing my mind, because it is politically expedient to do so!
"I am changing my mind, because it is politically expedient to do so!" Scott Olson / Getty News

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! They tell me I changed because I got money, but if you were there before, then you're still down with me. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

If there's a country Trump loves more than Russia, it's Saudi Arabia, who he's teaming up with so they can build high-tech bomb parts which could easily turn around and bite him (and of course, us) right in the ass.

Trump's kids had a great time in Europe, partying and promoting their own businessesā€”probably all on the American taxpayer's dime. But hey, as long as they were having fun!

The Federal Reserve, which Trump hates, may cut interest rates to mitigate the effects of the President's racist tariffs against Mexico, thereby enabling him to institute even more stupid tariffs. Man, what a country.

Speaking of Trump's economy, employment growth suffered a steep decline last month, dropping from an expected 175,000 new shit-pay jobs to only 75,000 shit-pay jobs.

After getting dragged across the internet and by fellow Democratic candidates, current presidential frontrunner Joe Biden has reversed his support of the Hyde Amendment which denies federal funding for abortions. (Can we just stop talking about him now?)

Nancy Pelosi said that she doesn't want to see Trump impeached, she wants to see him in jail. (Can't we have both?) Anyway, Trump responded in a very Trumpian (which is to say misogynist) way.

In other "LOCK HIM UP" news:


After blatantly ignoring subpoenas and considering themselves above the law, AG William Barr and Congress Secretary Wilbur Ross will almost certainly be held in contempt by the House.

The women's World Cup kicks off today in France, and here's some background info on all the teams, so you can act like a know-it-all.

Stomach-churning headline of the day: "Surgeons opened her skull to remove a cancerous tumor. Instead, they found a tapeworm."

Dr. Johnā€”the famed New Orleans' pianist and songwriterā€”has died at the age of 77.

IN SPORTS:


IN LOCAL NEWS: Oregon state officials allowed mentally ill people to sit in jail for days before moving them to a state hospital, which only underscores how our broken system desperately needs change. Our Alex Zielinski has the story.

Local transportation activists held a New Orleans-style jazz funeral to mark the deaths of 21 people who died in car-related crashes this year. Read the story from our Blair Stenvick.

A man with a loaded gun was arrested yesterday in the Gateway Fred Meyer, after trying to escape following an attempted robbery.

And guys, tickets for Portland's fave food event, FEAST, go on sale this morning! Don't sleep!

Now let's examine the WEATHER: It'll be a showery, cool day that by Sunday will turn into a very warm weekend and start to next week.

And finally, just some damn good advice: DON'T INVADE BEY'S PERSONAL SPACE.