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I love this scene from A Star Is Born!
I love this scene from A Star Is Born! Eugene Gologursky / Getty images

Good morning, Portland! Chart out your Burger Week trajectory and settle in for some hot, juicy news.

Here are the headlines!

Wait... They're Doing Another Two-Night Debate? Yep! Part One of the second Democratic presidential debate will air tonightβ€”brush up on the motley crew of candidates (and admire the bold width of Marianne Williamson's pants) with this handy New York Times round-up.

More πŸ‘ Women πŸ‘ Hackers:

Open Web: Multnomah County is taking baby steps toward establishing a publicly owned broadband network, which would allow the county to offer internet access as a public utility. Comcast is shaking! CenturyLink is wiping the sweat off its brow as I type this!

Access: Oregon electeds finally got a chance to tour Portland's one immigrant holding center over the weekend, and it sounds like conditions there are at least better than the concentration camps near the border. That visit had been a long time coming.

Bulletin Bought: The financially fraught Bend Bulletin, one of the largest sources of news in Central Oregon, has been bought by Oregon-based EO Media Group. EO is promising a "fresh start" for the paper.

Weird, Science: Remember when Neil deGrasse Tyson (you know, that guy who thinks being a scientist is a compelling personality in and of itself) was accused of sexual misconduct by four women last year? Well, it turns out he's keeping his job at the American Museum of Natural History after a dubious investigation.

Everybody Hates Ted:

Can't Nobody Tell Me Nothin': "Old Town Road," Lil Nas X's ubiquitous, infectious, genre- and odds-defying internet sensation, became Billboard's longest-running No. 1 single yesterday. The song has spent 17 weeks at that top spotβ€”and this horse is going to ride until it can't no more.

It's summer, Portlanders! Go drink some $5 hard slushies, then laugh so hard your insides get slushy at the I, Anonymous Show!