Stay up to date on Portland news and politics. Looking for fun? Here are the best Things to Do in Portland today.

Wait... do you hate me for helping Russia or for aiding mass shooters?
"Wait... do you hate me for helping Russia or for aiding mass shooters?" Alex Wong / Getty News

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Baby make your mind up. Give me what you got. Fix me with your lovin', shut the door, and turn the lock. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

The Trump administration is—to the surprise of no one—purposefully weakening the Endangered Species Act to make way for oil drilling and development in the areas where these animals live.

Bowing to pressure from business interests and Wall Street who fears a coming recession, Trump is delaying his tariffs on Chinese toys and electronics until December 15, according to his administration who should never be trusted.

Attorney General/Trump enabler William Barr is furious—FURIOUS, I TELL YOU—that the Bureau of Prisons (which is under the jurisdiction of William Barr) totally let Jeffrey Epstein commit suicide. (I guess the buck doesn't stop with him.)

That said, according to federal investigators, the Jeffrey Epstein investigation is continuing and will be targeting his co-conspirators.

Democrats want to revive the assault weapons ban, but it'll never go anywhere while Moscow/Massacre Mitch and the GOP remain in power. VOTE. THEM. OUT.

THIS SHOULD BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY:

Also good news: "Stacey Abrams to launch voter protection program in battleground states ahead of the 2020 election."

Protests in Hong Kong continue to escalate as hundreds of antigovernment demonstrators practically shut down the city's airport.

New York has extended the length of time victims of sexual assault can sue their abusers—which means the clergy and Boy Scouts are bracing for a LOT of time in court.

WE NOW INTERRUPT GOOD MORNING, NEWS FOR THIS IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS ALERT FROM KATU:

When extortionists tried to bully comedian Whitney Cummings over a nip-slip photo, she let them know that she doesn't put up with any bullshit.

IN LOCAL NEWS: An Oregon man is the first to be charged under a new bias crime law after attacking a group of people exiting an Old Town gay bar.

Bus riders and transit activists rejoice: There's a brand new bus-only lane on NW Everett and our Blair Stenvick has the story.

The MLS has banned the anti-fascist Iron Front symbol from Timbers games, and the Timbers Army is not happy. Our Abe Asher explains why the Army is right and MLS is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

Want a $5 boozy slushy? Get a $5 boozy slushy! Also, you want to know more about blow jobs and laugh a lot, right? Get your tickets now to next Thursday's hilarious sex ed/comedy show "Talkin' Dirty with Shrista & AJ"!

Now let's peep upward at the WEATHER: Today marks the warmest, nicest day of the week with mostly sunny skies and a high of 84.

And finally, check out this tweet from former Mercury intern (and very funny comedian) Andrew Michaan about a mysterious man and his giraffe.