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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! For you I'd write a symphony. I'd tell the violin, "it's time to sink or swim," watch him play for you. LET'S GO TO PRESS.
Following attacks on important Saudi oil fields this weekend, the Trump administration is pointing their fingers at Iran as the probable culprit, and the president is (of course) threatening military action.
More accusations of sexual assault have been leveled at Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, along with claims that the FBI did not investigate the claims when the justice was being confirmed in 2018. Democratic candidates such as Warren, Harris, and O'Rourke are calling for the justice's impeachment. Meanwhile, the New York Times took a lot of heat for an insensitive, wrongheaded tweet about how Kavanaugh's alleged assault could be construed as "harmless fun."
always worth remembering that the reason they’re insisting that having a dick shoved in your face is all harmless fun is so that the alleged dick shover can take away our right to control whether we get pregnant when we have actually consensual sex
— Julia Carrie Wong (@juliacarriew) September 16, 2019
Related: Candidate Elizabeth Warren is rolling out a massive political anti-corruption plan that would hopefully keep us from winding up once again in this sorry state of affairs.
Fifty thousand members of the United Auto Workers went on strike against General Motors this morning, the first GM strike since 2007.
Oxycontin maker Purdue Pharma, thought to be the primary company behind the opioid crisis, is declaring bankruptcy in order to squirm out of the thousands of court cases being brought against them.
New wave pop singer, and co-founder of the Cars, Ric Ocasek was found dead in his apartment yesterday. He was 70.
Here's your "Dystopia Headline of the Day" (so far): Ex-Google worker fears 'killer robots' could cause mass atrocities.
IN LOCAL NEWS: Transgender woman Atlas Marshall (drag stage name Nae Nae Dominatrix) was assaulted by a group of men downtown last Thursday night, and police are investigating it as a hate crime. Our Blair Stenvick has the details.
Yesterday's rain really dampened the spirits of Patriot Prayer's planned march downtown—only a few of the right wing snowflakes showed up. In fact, this is BY FAR the most interesting thing that happened:
A satanic ritual (?!) is happening in the square now. I think this is a strategy to distract from Patriot Prayer’s march, in which case: mission accomplished. pic.twitter.com/OIsVxmdDxG
— Blair Stenvick (@BlairStenvick) September 15, 2019
I don’t know who made this but thank you. pic.twitter.com/ul1OcZb1sL
— Melissa Ryan (@MelissaRyan) September 10, 2019
ARE YOU HUNGRY? Then may I interest you in the Portland Mercury's Chili Jamboree and Nacho Week? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED A LAUGH. Get your tickets now for the Undisputable Geniuses of Comedy, coming at you on Sept 21! OH! AND YES, YOU DO LOOK SEXY! Tickets for HUMP! 2019 are right here.
Now let's cast our eyes skyward at the WEATHER: Expect lots of showers and possible t'storms over the next three days with highs in the mid-60s.
And finally, happy Monday everybody! This is how I'm going into the week.
The AR future we deserve pic.twitter.com/vOw3wSVuY0
— Daniel Sinclair (@_DanielSinclair) September 15, 2019