The Portland Thorns fell even with the Washington Spirit in a 0-0 draw on Saturday night. LACKADAISICAL AND LIMP HIGH FIVES. Sure, ties feel totally “meh” but can you just believe me that this game was HEAVY in Thorns possibilities and was total HIGH-INTENSITY DOT COM. I know what your NSFF (Not Soccer Fan Friends) are saying, “Soccer is so boring unless someone scores.” And who can forget, “I have a low tolerance for things I do not excel at or understand.” WELL, BOO-HOO FOR THEM! I have NO DOUBT that the 24 thousand-plus fans in attendance did not have a hard time engaging with Saturday’s match. With 21 shots from the Thorns and five on goal—the park was rockin’ and the Thorns were knockin’!
FROM THE GET GO
Canadian Captain Christine Sinclair nearly put the Thorns on the board in the ninth minute when she was fed the ball from midfield, took a rocket of a shot, and missed it just wide. That woulda, coulda, and shoulda been a great way to start the match!
Later in the 25th minute, Thorn Tobin Heath knocked a cross ball into perfect position for Lindsey Horan— if it wasn’t for that greedy Spirit goalkeeper who snagged it just before Horan could make contact with her head! DAG BLAST IT—FOILED AGAIN!
My favorite first half near heart attack was in the 39th minute when Thorns defender Megan Klingenberg took a long shot to the goal. The ball took a funny bounce and was stopped (but not possessed by) Washington's goalie Aubrey Bledsoe. Immediately after the ball was deflected, Horan took her shot, only to be denied by Bledsoe's feet. GOOD GOD DANG—WHY CAN'T THE THORNS GET ONE IN???
The second half offered more of the same close-but-no-cigar action from the Thorns. The most defining of all came in the 50th minute when Sinclair back-heeled a pass to Tobin Heath who curled a shot close, but not quite enough for a goal. PINEAPPLE FARTSICLES... WHAT IS HAPPENING?
You know what? Good for the Washington Spirit for not getting spooked in a stadium of 24,521 roaring Thorns fans. And good on Thorns goalie AD Franch for picking up the eighth clean sheet for this season—That’s impressive! I just wanted the Thorns to go out with more of a SONIC BOOM—know what I mean? I still don’t feel okay after that huge 6-0 loss to North Carolina at Providence Park last month and I still feel a little nauseous thinking about that loss to the Reign a few weeks ago. I want the Thorns to look BIGGER BETTER STRONGER when waking into the playoffs.
DON’T SAY IT’S OVER
This was the last 2019 regular season match for the Thorns and the last time the team will play in Providence Park this year. UGH! I HATE WHEN GOOD THINGS END!! It was a great year for the Thorns with 11 beautiful wins, six frustrating draws, and seven heartbreaking losses. It looks different when you lay it on the counter like that, but I promise you—if you put that into your Ninja blender, you’ll ENJOY THE TASTE OF A SUCCESSFUL 2019 THORNS SEASON!
The Thorns are headed to the NWSL playoffs again but aren’t exactly tap dancing and high kicking in. Just like your last breakup that involved a dog you both got three months into your relationship—it's exceptionally COMPLEX. Please keep your arms and legs inside the blog while I take you on the emotional roller coaster that I call, “The Ups and Downs of October as a Thorns Fan”
The Thorns are headed to the playoffs again! CONFETTI CANNONS!
The Thorns will not be playing that playoff match here in Portland.
Thorns will not have to play the North Carolina Courage for their playoff match. LONG, TOO TIGHT HUGS FROM AN ACQUAINTANCE FROM WORK!
Portland (#3) will travel to Chicago to face off against the Red Stars (#2) at 12:30 pm (PT) on Sunday, October 20. The game will air on ESPN2—but make a plan early! Sports bars are in the thick of NFL football on Sundays! The Courage (#1) will host the Seattle Reign (#4) on the same day at 10:30 am in North Carolina. Winners from those games will face off for the 2019 NWSL Championship on Sunday, October 27 at 12:30 pm in North Carolina.
BUCKLE UP THORN FANS—The real ride is about to begin!