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Hi, Id like to join in on this dogpile of Elizabeth Warren.
"Hi, I'd like to join in on this dogpile of Elizabeth Warren." Win McNamee/Getty Images

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Three course meals: spaghetti, fettuccine, and veal. But still, everything's real in the field. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Last night marked a turning point in the Democratic debates, with the 11 finalists gunning for the new presumptive frontrunner, Elizabeth Warren. Her opponents tried to poke holes in her many "I've got a plan for that" plans, with little effect. Otherwise everybody did pretty much how you'd expect: Biden and Sanders stayed steady, while Harris and Booker retained their positions—though Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar made a stronger case for their brand of liberal centrism.

MEANWHILE IN IMPEACHMENT LAND: Senior state department Ukraine expert George Kent told impeachment investigators that he was sidelined by the Trump administration to make room for the president's toadies (Portland's own) Gordon Sondland, Kurt Volker, and energy secretary Rick Perry—who called themselves (get ready to vomit) "THE THREE AMIGOS." Fuck every one of those guys.

Speaking of fucking every one of those guys: Michael McKinley, the former adviser to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, is expected to tell impeachment investigators today that "career diplomats were mistreated during his tenure and some had their careers derailed for political reasons."

Vice President Mike Pence is ass-deep in Trump's Ukraine trouble as well, and is suspiciously (AND ILLEGALLY) ignoring a subpoena to turn over documents related to the president's call to Ukraine's leader.

Meanwhile Nancy Pelosi is holding off on a full House vote to authorize an impeachment inquiry thanks to skittish Dems facing rough reelection bids—but if the facts keep pouring out as they have been, the vote could easily happen.

OH, THAT'S RICH: Turkey's president is asking the Kurds to lay down their arms, while requesting international help in continuing their atrocity—you know, the one Trump set into motion by stupidly withdrawing American troops from the region. Meanwhile Trump is trying to cover up his mistake by leveling sanctions and other economic punishments on Turkey—though he's not fooling anyone.

IN LOCAL NEWS: It's official: Mayor Ted Wheeler is running for a second term (yaaaaaaaaaay or whatever). Our Blair Stenvick was there for his kickoff speech.

The mother of Sean Kealiher, the 23-year-old man who died after being hit by the driver of an SUV on Saturday, made a public statement yesterday asking for people to stop speaking on her behalf on the internet, and quit making graffiti on the outside of the Democratic Party building (where the hit and run took place). Our Alex Zielinski was there and has the details.

Meanwhile a reward has been offered for any information about the death of Sean Kealiher that leads to an arrest.

Today in "Okay, That's Probably a Good Idea": "Portland teachers are now explicitly banned from inviting students to their homes, giving them car rides."

By the way... ARE YOU HUNGRY? Dive headfirst into the Portland Mercury's Nacho Week! Happening right now! OH! AND YES, YOU DO LOOK SEXY! Tickets for HUMP! 2019 are right here. (Oh, and psst! Check out the new, very sexy, and decidedly NSFW HUMP! trailer here.)

Now let's scan the skies for some WEATHER: Lots of showers and blustery conditions (highs around 60) from now until Monday, so put on your rubbers.

And finally, the horse is America, the rider is Trump. Good day, everyone!

Neigh means neigh