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So whats so terrible about a robot controlling the worlds economy?
"So what's so terrible about a robot controlling the world's economy?" Chip Somodevilla / Staff / Getty

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! I keep thinking of that night in June. I didn't know much of love, but it came too soon. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Yesterday the top US diplomat to Ukraine, William Taylor, testified before a House impeachment inquiry and gave the most damning account yet of how President Trump withheld military aid from Ukraine in order to force them to investigate the Bidens, his political rivals. But he went even further, talking about how Trump's actions could lead to the death of Ukrainian soldiers and threatens democracy in Europe. But the president's troubles don't end here, more state department officials are lining up to testify as well.

Meanwhile as a top Pentagon official testifies in the Ukraine inquiry, Republicans are desperately trying to stop the proceedings (and more damning testimony against Trump) by demanding entry into the closed door hearings.

In yet even MORE corruption news, now we know that Trump was looking to make big cuts in programs that would have fought corruption in Ukraine and other countries (even while claiming that fighting such shenanigans was his top priority, the liar).

After supremely fucking up that press conference and admitting that Trump committed a quid pro quo, White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney is now on the chopping block, though the president is denying he's thinking about replacing him with grotesque caricatures of human beings, Kellyanne Conway and Steven Mnuchin.

The lack of a clear presidential frontrunner is causing anxiety among Democratic leadership, which is causing some very odd contingency plans to emerge (such as Oprah Winfrey trying to convince Disney's Bob Iger to get in the race, while Hillary Clinton is reportedly not ruling out). EEEEEESH! CALM DOWN, PEOPLE! (Besides, according to a new CNN poll, Biden has taken a significant lead over his opponents, soooooooooo... be careful what you wish for.)

Scientists at Google say they've developed "quantum supremacy" that will be able to produce computers that can calculate problems which would normally take 10,000 years in just a few minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but will my Mac not sound like a blender when I'm trying to play videogames?

Facebook creep Mark Zuckerberg is testifying before Congress today to convince them that his company's new Libra digital currency won't lead to the ruin of the global economy. I mean, why wouldn't we trust him?

GOOD NEWS: Two members of that shit-heel group, the Proud Boys, have been convicted and sentenced to four years in prison following a "political street brawl" last year.

A murder investigation is underway in England after a truck is found with 39 unidentified dead bodies in the back. It's suspected the victims could be immigrants who were smuggled into the country.

In entertainment news that will bring unlimited joy to the Mercury's film editor Erik Henriksen: "Cardi B has joined Fast & Furious 9."

IN LOCAL NEWS: TriMet really stuck their foot in it yesterday after claiming on Twitter that the reason they were hiring more fare enforcement officers is because YOU, the rider, were sick of people jumping on the bus or train for free. I quickly called bullshit on that bullshit.

The city may be overturning its controversial rule regarding the posting of big red "U"s on unreinforced masonry buildings that could be destroyed in an earthquake. Our Blair Stenvick has more.

The police have identified the body that was pulled from the Willamette River as Owen Klinger, the young man who was missing and the subject of a huge manhunt.

The city is also pushing back against Zenith Energy who wants to expand their ability to transport fossil fuels through Portland. Check out the story from our Blair Stenvick.

Hey! Who wants to watch some great DIY porn seated next to strangers? YOU DO. Tickets for HUMP! 2019 are right here. Trust me, you won't regret it.

Now let's look skyward to the WEATHER: Finally dry weather returns with a high today of 64 degrees.

And finally, MOOD.