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The I, Anonymous blog is a great place to drop off your rants, confessions... and in this case, advice to amorous plumbers. Enjoy.

You fixed the plumbing on my dishwasher. You were 60, bald, and slight for a man, even in your over-sized plumbers overalls. At first you seemed nervous and apologetic about being in my space and interrupting my morning. But later, before you left, you started asking personal questions about my work, my home, and my life. Then, you said, "It might be unprofessional, but are you seeing anyone?" I am 35, female, and single, but I did tell you was seeing someone. What else could I say? Maybe I should have asked you, in the age of #MeToo, how could you? My life is not a porn. In this photo-realism version of events, I don't answer the door in my towel and tell you I need some pipe laid in the bedroom. I definitely I don't want a strange man who has just spent an hour in my home alone with me (under supposedly professional circumstances) to ask about my dating life. If you ever consider trying this again, one word: don't.

Do the world a favor and send this post to every plumber you know! And while you're at it, submit your best rants, confessions, and worldly advice to the I, Anonymous Blog, where if your story is particularly intriguing, it might be chosen to be featured in the print edition of the Mercury, or read aloud at the upcoming live I, Anonymous Show coming up Wednesday, December 4 at Curious Comedy Theater, starring host Kate Murphy and her hilarious panel of comedians, Tory Ward, Jake Silberman, and Dylan Jenkins! GET YOUR TICKETS NOW AND HERE!