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Steven Mnuchin and Mike Pompeo describe new economic sanctions against Iran following Trumps ordered assassination of one of their leaders. Too much?
Steven Mnuchin and Mike Pompeo describe new economic sanctions against Iran following Trump's ordered assassination of one of their leaders. Too much? Alex Wong / Getty News

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! So baby don't front, backseat Jeep, you know what I want. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Never one to not make a bad situation exponentially worse, Trump leveled new sanctions against Iran following their attack on American-inhabited bases in Iraq—a response to Trump's insanely foolhardy assassination of a foreign leader. (So according to Republicans, I guess that kind of thing is okay now?)

Though they were originally withholding information about the plane that was allegedly accidentally shot down by Iran during a missile attack on American forces in Iraq, the US is now supposedly sharing intelligence with Ukraine's president.

Related: Boeing employees apparently went to great lengths to manipulate regulators who were taking a hard look at the beleaguered Boeing 737 aircraft.

In an effort to curb Trump's dangerous and impulsive decisions to take America into war with Iran, the House voted to force the president to come to them before taking any other crazy measures against the country.

House leader Nancy Pelosi is holding firm to her promise to withhold articles of impeachment from the Senate until Senate Majority Turtle Mitch McConnell reveals how they will conduct the trial (spoiler alert: unethically).

To the surprise of no one, the Russian hackers who screwed with the 2016 election are back—and while we may be a little smarter, they are stealthier than ever.

Related: Facebook has no intention of stopping the lies that breed unchecked on their platform in the months before the 2020 election. SO WHY EXACTLY ARE YOU STILL FUCKING WITH FACEBOOK?

Before writing off the election chances of Elizabeth Warren, you may want to read this.

It turns out Prince Harry and Meghan were planning their move to step aside from senior royalty for months, but had to spring the plan early after learning the details were about to be released.

Former Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly along with other women participated in an interview where they described suffering extreme sexual harassment while at the network.

IN LOCAL NEWS: Could it finally be happening? Local nonprofit Coalition of Communities of Color have been tasked with gauging public interest in getting rid of Portland's arcane system of government—which is heavily weighted toward putting the wealthy and white into office. Our Alex Zielinski reports.

SO IS IT GOING TO SNOW NEXT WEEK, OR NOT?!? The definitive answer... maybe, possibly on Wednesday and Thursday? Or perhaps not? Hope you're satisfied with that answer!

YOU'VE HAD SOME WEIRD DATES, RIGHT? Well turn that experience into cold, hard cash by telling the Mercury your wildest online dating story. The best, craziest story wins 300 bucks!

Now let's peep skyward at today's WEATHER: Well there's a fucking shock... it's gonna be rainy and windy today with a high of 45. :(

And finally, me waiting for the weekend to start.