The I, Anonymous Show
The long-running Portland Mercury column “I, Anonymous” is famous for asking readers to send in their most whacked-out rants and scandalous confessions—anonymously! In this special LIVE-STREAMED edition of The I, Anonymous Show, your host Kate Murphy will read some of the wildest and uncensored I, Anonymous submissions we've ever received. And even better, these secret (often very naughty) stories will be dissected and discussed by a panel of hilarious, nationally recognized comedians: Solomon Georgio, Shane Torres, and Caitlin Weierhauser! So if you're looking for a night of side-splitting, jaw-dropping rants and confessions—don't miss this live-streamed edition of The I, Anonymous Show!
(Fri April 24, 8 pm, $5-15)

Views From Home: A Virtual Benefit for Furloughed Portland Theater Staff
Wishing you could hit up a local theater and take in some of the weird cinema this city is known for? So do the people who used to work at those theaters! This online benefit aims to satisfy that impulse while also helping raise funds for furloughed theater employees in Portland through a short-film-festival highlighting new works from local filmmakers, including Micah Vanderhoof, Anthony Hudson/Carla Rossi, and host Roger Stack. And even if you can't make the virtual film fest tonight, you can still donate to the theater workers' gofundme here.
(Fri April 24, 6pm, Twitch.tv)

Room Service Music Festival
Man, future generations looking back at this livestream calendar might think 2020 was the best year ever for music festivals... you know, before they realized 2020 was the year COVID-19 swept the globe and forced everyone inside to shelter-in-place and stay safe. But the music festivals sure as hell didn't slow up, and that includes this weekend offering from Trap Nation and Chill Nation, with a lineup of dance bands, beatsmiths, DJs and party-starters that is pretty hard to top, including MXMTOON, Chromeo, Hayden James, Lido, Zeds Dead, A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie, Deorro, Crooked Colours, and a ton more notable artists on the bill. Click here to RSVP, and make sure you have some funds on hand during dance breaks for giving to Feeding America and Sweet Relief.
(Fri-Sun, April 24-26)

Do Good Drawrings!
Design Museum has done what many museums are doing during lockdown: heading straight online and providing a bunch of streamed events to people looking to feed their brain that good brainfood. Design Museum Live just launched, and if you're a Design Museum member, many of their new events are free, but even if you're not, $10 covers the cost of a lot of these experiences, like Co-Founder Derek Cascio sitting down with you for an hour and teaching you very valuable sketching skills. As Design Museum puts it themselves: "you're stuck at home, why not learn to draw from the experts?" Why not indeed?
(Fri Apr 24, 12 pm, free w/ membership, $10 w/out, Design Museum Live)

Do That Yoga!
Having a healthy routine is more important than ever during the COVID-19 crisis. It's all too easy to sink deeply into one's couch and binge watch reality shows on Netflix instead of taking positive action to stay mentally and physically healthy. This weekend, the world-famous LUNA festival in Austin, TX, is going online for three days of calming practices, connections with teachers and masters, live music, and inner light, all streamed directly to your screen so that if you wish, your quarantine can become a place of healing and inner strength. Guests include CloZee, Superposition, Kino MacGregor, Alexi Pappas, Madi Teeuws, Swaylo, Oh Lawd, and many, many more; click here for a complete list of participants and schedules.
(Fri-Sun April 24-26, rsvp for free or pay-what-you-will)

Make a Whole-Ass Super Mario Game
Super Mario Maker 2 is a wonderland of ingenuity and frustration on Nintendo Switch, and the free update that went live on April 22 has finally made the dream of many a classic gamer reality: You can make your own Mario game if you want. Or you can just play other people's Mario games, too (that's probably a lot easier). Super Mario Maker 2, which used to be a repository for handcrafted platforming challenges ranging from sweetly innocent to teeth-grindingly-tough, is now more-or-less a Perpetual Mario Game Machine, harnessing the creativity of DIY-level-makers and spitting out eight-world, 40-level Mario games that jump through various Mario styles and gameplay mechanics on the way to defeating Bowser (or a stack of Bowsers riding a stack of Koopa Kids) and rescuing the princess. If you've got a Switch, you need to get this game, which is now about 30,000 games in one. Go on: eat some 'shrooms, punch some bricks, have some fun.(Now Available, Nintendo Switch)

Square Garden: An Open Pit Minecraft Show
Welcome to the future: Virtual concerts are being livestreamed inside of video games now. If you have the Minecraft Java Edition (not Bedrock edition!) then 100 Gecs will be putting on a live concert with a ton of stars performing, including Charli XCX, Tommy Cash, Kero Kero Bonito, Parry Gripp, and a whole lot more on top of that, with proceeds benefitting Feeding America. Click here for more instructions on how to make sure you're Minecraft Concert-ing correctly.
(Fri April 24, 3 pm, Minecraft, I guess!)

Support The Portland Mercury

The Blair Witch Project Watch-Along Party with MoPop
Just in case you were feeling an itch to leave the house and go outside, even if it was just to hike around in some unpopulated woods, let this livestream watch party—starring co-director Eduardo Sanchez, and producers Gregg Hale and Michael Monello—remind you that maybe it's better to stay inside. Less opportunity to be harassed by invisible children, or to find hand-wrapped bags of unidentifiable flesh-stuff outside your tent, or to wind up in an abandoned cabin staring into a corner while a hairy demon-thing kills your asshole documentarian friends. There's been a weird (and frankly kinda gross if you poke at it) backlash regarding this film since it became a phenomena in 1999, as if the fact it isn't really a supernatural snuff film should be held against it. But The Blair Witch Project is still as close as any movie's ever gotten to the elemental fear mined from a perfectly told campfire story at just the right age, and it deserves its place in the horror pantheon, and don't let the cynics tell you otherwise.
Fri April 24, 7 pm)

Fusebox Festival 2020 Virtual Edition
This acclaimed Arts and Performance festival goes online in high style for the last weekend of April, taking an opportunity to transform itself into an examination of what it means to gather together and celebrate art through their combination of "public access TV, international block party, and live performance." At any time, you might click into the fest and find interactive activities, studio visits, one-on-one conversations, cooking shows, and more. Guests include Brown State of Mind, Erica Nix, Choir! Choir! Choir!, Laura Latimer, TryNotToMakeSounds, and Essentials Creative among others. Click here for a complete list of participating artists.
(Fri-Sun April 24-26, fuseboxfestival.com)

Big Freedia
Freedia is known for her high-energy live shows, and inviting a bunch of audience members on stage, where they can present their best twerking skills while Freedia hypes them up. Unsurprisingly, this translates pretty well to Instagram livestreaming concerts, and Freedia's putting them on every Friday night until the lockdowns are lifted, with proceeds from donations going to the New Orleans Disaster Relief Fund!
(Fri, April 24, 6pm, Instagram)