Trump requires meat factories to stay in operations because... AMERICA MUST HAVE MEEEEEATS!
Trump requires meat factories to stay in operations because... AMERICA MUST HAVE MEEEEEATS! alle12 / Getty Images

Here's your daily roundup of all the local and national news about COVID-19. (Like our coverage? Please consider donating to the Mercury to keep it comin'!)

• Today the number of confirmed COVID-19 cases in Oregon jumped to 2,385, and 99 Oregonians have died from the virus. Meanwhile the US has passed 1 million known positive coronavirus cases.

• Calling all gig workers and self-employed peeps! Today is the day that the state of Oregon will begin accepting your unemployment benefit claims, which includes contractors as well.

• The City of Portland began giving away $250 gift cards to low-income Portlanders struggling because of coronavirus impacts yesterday. The gift cards ran out after 17 minutes due to high demand.

• In case you needed something else to fuel your anxiety: Oregon lawmakers are preparing for another brutal wildfire season.

• Another reason to love the Humane Society: "Oregon Humane Society trucking 50,000 pounds of pet food statewide for those impacted by coronavirus outbreak."

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

• Trump is still insisting that schools should start up again before the end of the academic year, while most states are still rolling their eyes and rightly ignoring this blundering, dangerous idiot.

• Big companies like the LA Lakers, Shake Shack, and Potbelly who applied for stole SBA money intended for small businesses may be facing "criminal liability" according to Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin. (Soooo... criminals catching other criminals? Wow, that's like Suicide Squad.)

• The key to returning to semi-normal life will be an increased testing capacity, and Doctor "Stable Genius" Trump is now attempting to sell the idea that this benchmark is within close reach. But there's still a lack of reliable data about the pandemic, and it's not clear when more reliable tests will become available.

• In "MEAT" news: Trump is expected to sign an executive order forcing meat producing companies like Tyson to remain open in order to hold off a food supply shortage. MEEEEEAAAT!

• You saw this coming, didn't you: "Georgia men drink disinfectant believing it would cure coronavirus."

• A top New York City emergency room doctor died by suicide on Sunday. Her father believes her death was caused by the trauma she experienced treating coronavirus patients.

• The coronavirus continues to decimate newspapers: Though the Payroll Protection Program has helped some newsrooms avoid (or delay) layoffs for now, "papers representing more than 80% of US circulation are disqualified" because of the way they're structured. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL NEWSIES!

• Several East Asian countries have been successful in avoiding the worst of COVID-19. Experts believe that is because they were quick to centrally isolate people who tested positive or showed symptoms of the coronavirus—something countries in the West have been hesitant to do.

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• If you need some cheering up after reading all this, turn your bad mood around quick with the Mercury Cheer Up Club, featuring the internet's biggest daily laughs!

• Look, you're stuck inside, creative, going nuts, and need money, right? Then enter your short confinement-themed film in the Confinement (online) Film Festival, better known as CoFF!

• And finally, if you're missing your jazz dance classes, here's a pretty good solution.