No other president is better at corrupting than me... not even Lincoln.
"No other president is better at corrupting than me... not even Lincoln." Chip Somodevilla / Staff / Getty

Here's your daily roundup of all the local and national news about COVID-19. (Like our coverage? Please consider donating to the Mercury to keep it comin'!)

• As of today, the Oregon Health Authority reported a total of 2,839 positive/presumptive coronavirus cases, and a death count of 113—which is up four from yesterday.

• NOT ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING NEWS AT ALL: According to the NYT, the Trump Administration is considering winding down the coronovirus task force, because... mission accomplished? (In a couple months, our idiot president will disavow any knowledge of this ever happening, and will be utterly baffled as to how or why the task force was disbanded, and suggest that it was probably Obama's doing.)

• Right on cue, we got a new whistleblower complaint! And it's against the White House, from ousted Health and Human Services scientist Rick Bright, whose 89-page complaint outlines multiple instances of the HHS ignoring requests in January to secure masks and PPE for medical workers, and specifies how the White House directed him to "drop everything" and make chloroquine widely available to the American public.

• Not related, like at all: The White House is continuing to bar members of the coronavirus task force from testifying before Congress... because the Trump Administration has nothing to hide, right?

• A global alliance including the U.K., Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Norway, Saudi Arabia, and the European Commission, pledged $8 billion to speed up the development and distribution of a COVID-19 vaccination. You'll note our country was not in the above list, because our government declined the invitation to participate in this pledge drive.

• Also not alarming at all: The original strain of COVID-19 that started this pandemic is not the dominant strain currently spreading. This mutated version of the coronavirus not only spreads faster than the original, but can possibly make those in recovery from infection more susceptible to a second infection.

• Meatpacking plant shutdowns are leading to a burger shortage at Wendy's—a restaurant we haven't visited in at least 20 years. THEY STILL HAVE WENDY'S, GUYS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Gov. Kate Brown announced that Oregon will be reopening some select state parks starting May 6, which include Tryon Creek, Willamette Mission, the Cove Palisades, Pilot Butte, and Prineville Reservoir—and more will be reopened soon.

• In the plan to reopen Oregon, guess which businesses are going to be dead last? Probably music venues. To explain more, and what you can do to help, check out this guest editorial from Revolution Hall co-owner Jim Brunberg.

• A pair of food processing plants close to home have closed due to a COVID-19 outbreak: Bornstein Seafood has shut down two of its Astoria-based plants after 13 workers tested positive.

• An even closer-to-home (and extra-heartbreaking) closing due to COVID-19's effect on the economy? Arleta Library Cafe announced its permanent closure after 15 years of feeding delicious breakfasts to Southeast Portland—and a particularly awesome episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives co-starring our 2020 pick for Mayor, Sarah Iannarone.

• Are you getting a lot of calls from your family doctors lately about setting up appointments? According to this headline, there's a reason for that: "As visits plummet because of the coronavirus, small physician practices are struggling to survive."

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• If you need some laughs, may we suggest the I, ANONYMOUS SHOW livestreaming into your home this Friday May 8. Mindblowing rants and confessions, paired with a panel of hilarious comics! *chef's kiss*

• Look, you're stuck inside, creative, going nuts, and need money, right? Then enter your short confinement-themed film in the Confinement (online) Film Festival, better known as CoFF!

• And finally, really... WHO NEEDS PROFESSIONAL SPORTS?