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The Salon of Shame
The "Salon of Shame" is a Seattle institution, and one not about to be cut short by coronavirus. Indeed, the cheerful exploitation of our younger selves' awkward adventures in adolescence translate just fine online, and so: "Shame Across America," (streaming at 6pm, $17) an online compilation of the finest cringe comedy a collective childhood can cough up, with proceeds benefitting arts, service, and healthcare workers nationwide. Come for the laughs, stay for the catharsis, and lend a hand if you can.

The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy vs. The Reverend
Here's a chance to enjoy some Bandersnatch-esque streaming entertainment without having to submit to the soul-crushing bleakness of a Black Mirror watch! The choose-your-own-adventure Netflix experience is back again, but this time applied to the sunshiny sitcom fun of Kimmy Schmidt. The story: Kimmy just wants to marry Frederick (Daniel Radcliffe), but she's distracted by the newly-unearthed possibility that Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne (Jon Hamm) has another bunker of trapped women somewhere. Oh, also, you have to prevent Titus (Tituss Burgess) from getting fired from an action movie.

The Happy Days of Garry Marshall
From the future of sitcom silliness on Netflix, over to the history of sitcom greatness on Hulu/ABC: The Happy Days of Garry Marshall is a heartfelt tribute to one of the most successful TV producers of all time, and probably the only other person as influential on the form in its most potent days as Norman Lear. Decades before Marvel Studios introduced the idea of a "cinematic universe," Marshall had already perfected the model on TV with Happy Days, a humble little ripoff of American Graffiti (using its star Ron Howard, no less) that begat something like 400 different spinoffs over the course of 10 years, including Laverne & Shirley and Mork & Mindy. The special (airing at 8pm on ABC, appearing on Hulu shortly thereafter) won't just focus on the time he spent changing the face of television, but will also look at the run of successful romantic comedies he produced and directed, including Pretty Woman, The Princess Diaries, and Beaches.

Support The Portland Mercury

Do Good Drawrings!
Design Museum has done what many museums are doing during lockdown: heading straight online and providing a bunch of streamed events to people looking to feed their brain that good good brainfood. If you're a Design Museum member, their Design Museum Live events are free, but even if you're not a member, $10 covers the cost of a lot of these experiences, like the latest in their "Sketch Series" (9 am, $10 for non-members) teaching you how to make good drawings even good-er (hence the title of this listing!) Patrick Cunningham of Boston's Perkins and Will office will spend an hour and teaching you very valuable sketching skills as he walks viewers through his own process of designing sustainable architecture. As Design Museum puts it themselves: "you're stuck at home, why not learn to draw from the experts?" Why not indeed?

Baba is You
I know it seems almost impossible to tear yourself away from Animal Crossing, but maybe you never picked up the game in the first placeā€”or maybe you did, but now you've found yourself getting burnt out on scamming fellow villagers and turning the relaxing idyll that was your island into the nonstop capitalist churn that is your island. So why not try a good brain-wrinkling puzzle game for a while? Like, say Baba is You, a title locked-in somewhere on every 2019 Game of the Year list from every game-related outlet in the world. It's hard to explain how Baba is You works, because part of each puzzle you solve involves you having to rewrite the rules of the puzzle as you're solving it, in a way that almost tricks you into speaking some heretofore unknown puzzle language you didn't know you could translate until Baba showed you. It's only $15 on Switch and Steam, which is a small price to pay to unlock the inner genius within.

Katana Zero Soundtrack
Maybe you don't have the mental capacity to puzzle a game through right now. Hey, that's okay. Twitch.tv showed you can love video games without ever having to actually play one, and soundtracks like the one for the action platformer Katana Zero are so good you don't even need to look at the game to enjoy it (although Katana Zero is damn good so consider this a recommendation to grab that game for the Switch or Steam too, $15.99). Featuring electronic artists from the WIC Recordings roster, this 33-track monster is drenched in neon grooves and sawtooth waves so jagged it could saw the top off a rain-slicked IROC-Z28.