Here's a question for our coronavirus times that isn't, "Can we hook up yet?" With my whole company working from home, I was recently in a small group Zoom meeting when one coworker, unaware that her camera was on, moved her phone/tablet/laptop and in the process panned across her bare chest. One of the other participants told her that her camera was on, and she immediately switched it off, with a lot of flustered apologies and oh-my-Gods. After a minute or two, the meeting went on as if nothing had happened.

The coworker in question is someone I respect and like as both a colleague and a person. I'm a gay guy and fairly worldly, so seeing bare breasts doesn't give me an adolescent thrill or the pearl-clutching wobblies. But because this is someone I work with, I feel like this may be an elephant in the room as we go forward. I'd hate for her to be thinking that I'm snickering behind her back or thinking badly of her when really my heart goes out to her. Is there a way to address this and let my colleague know that I'm supportive and sympathetic without bringing what has to be a horribly embarrassing experience back to the forefront? Or should this just remain a "let us never speak of this again" situation?

Support The Portland Mercury

This Is Terribly Squicky

This is a follow-her-lead situation, TITS. Your colleague already made her apologies and pushed through whatever embarrassment she was feeling and finished the meeting. I would advise you to act like nothing happened when you see her next because, really, nothing much happened. The pan across her chest was brief and unintentional and everyone has seen tits before and it's not a mistake she's likely to make again. You should only say something—something supportive, something that lets her know you don't think less of her, something that doesn't require a response from her—if she apologizes again the next time you see her or directly raises the subject of her tits in some other way. If she doesn't, leave 'em alone.


Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.