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Twitter doesnt trump Trump—only Trump trumps Trump!
"Twitter doesn't trump Trump—only Trump trumps Trump!" Chip Somodevilla / Staff / Getty

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! The boys really like it, the girls don't speak. Rollin' their eyes, they're lip gloss cheap. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Two more churches run by fake Christians are suing Gov. Kate Brown, claiming their ability to worship (and presumably collect money) in a large group supersedes people's lives. How very Christ-like!

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The pandemic may be forcing Portland Public Schools to make drastic cuts—to the possible tune of $12 million in staffing and programs—to their already skeletal budget. Now might be a good time to completely rework how our schools are funded. Just an idea!

A Vancouver fruit processing plant is the site of one of the largest COVID-19 outbreaks on the west coast.

Popular and beloved comedian Richard Bain, who cut his teeth in stand-up in Portland in the early 2000s, died on Memorial Day. Find out more and read some some testimonials from his friends here.

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

Housing experts are predicting an "avalanche of evictions" nationwide, as the eviction process ramps up again in about half the states.

This will probably not come as a shock, but according to new Census Bureau data, a third of Americans are suffering from clinical anxiety or depression due to the pandemic. SAME!

After years of doing nothing, Twitter finally made the smallest effort to fact check one of Trump's blatant lie-tweets about mail-in voting, pushing readers to accurate information. OR, you know, if they really wanted to save everyone time, they would block this serial liar from Twitter entirely.

Meanwhile, Twitter apologized for a Trump tweet in which he continues to spread a completely baseless conspiracy about a widower's dead wife—and yet they refused to take it down.

Because he is a dangerous, deceitful buffoon, President Trump mocked a reporter during yesterday's press conference for wearing a face mask, calling it a "politically correct" choice rather than a selfless act that saves the lives of others.

Meanwhile, Trump's top infectious disease expert, Dr. Anthony Fauci, says that he wears a face mask in public because "I want to protect myself and protect others, and also because I want to make it be a symbol for people to see that that's the kind of thing you should be doing."

The "Karen" who called the police on a Black birdwatcher who asked the white woman to leash her dog has been fired by her employers.

The Minneapolis police department has fired four officers in connection with the outrageous death of a Black man, George Floyd, who died after one of the cops kneeled on his neck. The family correctly says that the officers should be charged with murder.

Support The Portland Mercury

Need laughs? Then don't miss the livestream I, Anonymous Show this Thursday, May 28 at 8 pm! Hilarious comedians, jaw-dropping rants and confessions... what more could you possibly need? (Don't say "love.")

Now let's peer skyward at today's WEATHER: Get ready for a three-day stretch of sunny skies and highs in the low to mid-80s!

And finally, I would really respect this quarantined person's INSANE Rube Goldberg machine if I wasn't too busy writing this for YOU!!

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