As of today, more than 100,000 Americans have died from COVID-19. Just think of the people who would still be alive if Trump werent president.
As of today, more than 100,000 Americans have died from COVID-19. Just think of the people who would still be alive if Trump weren't president. Drew Angerer / Getty Images

Here's your daily roundup of all the local and national news about COVID-19. (Like our coverage? Please consider donating to the Mercury to keep it comin'!)

• As of today, Oregon has crossed the 4,000 total COVID cases threshold with a total of 4,038 positive cases. There have been no new deaths in the past 24 hours. Marion County (the Salem area, specifically) is the state leader in new case rates.

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• And it's happened: The national toll of people who have died from coronavirus has passed 100,000—higher than any other nation in the world.

• And yea, the disciples of our Lord did express a desire to gather in large numbers, although the son of God is within us all and none need to journey anywhere to properly worship; and lo! They behaved as His only begotten son would have, and filed lawsuits against Gov. Kate Brown, because what is closer to thine glory than risking the lives of the lambs for the sake of collecting fine tithings? Get Rich or (you) Die Tryin', so sayeth our Lord.

• The pandemic may be forcing Portland Public Schools to make drastic cuts—to the possible tune of $12 million in staffing and programs—to their already skeletal budget. Now might be a good time to completely rework how our schools are funded. Just an idea!

• A Vancouver fruit processing plant is the site of one of the largest COVID-19 outbreaks on the west coast.

• Looks like many newly-reopened Oregon cities are about to get nice and fancified due to mayors and city councils making "European-style" sidewalk and parking-lot seating an option for bars and eateries.

• Okay, so the "invasion of the murder hornets" thing ended up not being that big a deal after all. So apparently that means its time to cue the "aggressive cannibal rats coming for your garbage" according to the CDC.

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

"Antibody tests for Covid-19 wrong up to half the time, CDC says": Cannot say that I love these odds.

• Experts say we should prepare to accept the fact that COVID-19 may never go away—even if we have a vaccine—and we should use this knowledge to establish a long term plan. (Hi, but Trump is incapable of plotting even the shortest term plan!)

• Because he is a dangerous, deceitful buffoon, President Trump mocked a reporter during yesterday's press conference for wearing a face mask, calling it a "politically correct" choice rather than a selfless act that saves the lives of others.

• Some prominent Republicans are actually pushing back (a little) against our idiot president's disdain towards wearing a mask in public, tweeting directly at him (which is a waste, because he doesn't fucking read) with sentiments such as "it's not about politics, it's about helping other people," (Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine), and adding #wearyourmask to their bio (Michigan Rep. Fred Upton).

• This will probably not come as a shock, but according to new Census Bureau data, a third of Americans are suffering from clinical anxiety or depression due to the pandemic. SAME!

• Perhaps emboldened by director Christopher Nolan's blinkered, selfish drive to cram people into theaters to see Tenet this July, NFL executives are making future plans with the expectation there will be full football stadiums in September.

• Disney is a little more reserved with their summer plans, announcing that their Florida theme parks will re-open in mid-July, but with obligatory masks, temperature checks, limited attendance, social distancing practices, and no parades, meet-and-greets, or fireworks shows.

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• Need laughs? Then don't miss the livestream I, Anonymous Show this Thursday, May 28 at 8 pm! Hilarious comedians, jaw-dropping rants and confessions... what more could you possibly need? (Don't say "love.")

• And finally, if this bird decides to build an entire team, you can say goodbye to the NBA.

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