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Our opening COVID-19 "sexcess" story is extra special this week. You will never think of Tollhouse cookies the same way again.

Don't you hate it when your brother-in-law steals your underpants, and uses them to jack off? This little sordid story only gets worse.

On the Magnum, meet the dominatrix who forces her clients to read Black feminist theory. Mistress Velvet and Dan discuss performative wokeness, allies vs. accomplices, and the transformative power of S&M among many other things. Mistress Velvet knows her shit. Obey her and listen in.

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And a woman and her boyfriend keep breaking the bed! Is there a bed frame out there that can withstand this couple's vigorous rutting?

A snippet: