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Less than a day after being announced as Bidens Veep pick, Kamala Harris is already giving Trump heartburn.
Less than a day after being announced as Biden's Veep pick, Kamala Harris is already giving Trump heartburn. Pool / Getty Images

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Wow wow, I lose my mind again, because of your charm I, I am surprised again. (Hit it, hit it, hit it, ho!) LET'S GO TO PRESS.

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• With 95 percent of the vote in this morning from last night's special election, City Council Position 2 candidate Dan Ryan has presumably defeated opponent Loretta Smith. At this point, Ryan will be joining Portland City Council next month, and our Alex Zielinski has more.

• In other election news, Sen. Kamala Harris has been chosen by Joe Biden to be his running mate, which will undoubtedly cause more problems for Trump's flailing campaign. And while I know most of you are rejoicing over the news, for those who aren't, our Blair Stenvick will help you process this new revelation with their excellent/hilarious article, The Five Stages of Kamala Harris.

• Locally, new (and very progressive) Multnomah County District Attorney Mike Schmidt announced today that his office will limit the types of charges that Portland Police have been using to arrest protesters during nightly demonstrations—including "interfering with a police officer." Our Alex Zielinski breaks it all down for you.

• Apparently DA Schmidt's announcement had a cooling effect on both cops and protesters, as the 76th night of demonstrations against police brutality remained peaceful throughout the evening with no arrests or violence.

• Speaking of protests, if you are a white person who has been feeling pretty proud of yourself for showing up to the nightly demonstrations, the very smart Pharoah Bolding has a harsh, but true bone to pick with your "performative allyship" in this excellent guest editorial.

• In sports (and yes, apparently sports still exist) news: The beloved Portland Timbers beat Orlando City 2-1 to cinch the depressingly named "MLS is Back" tournament in Orlando, Florida.


• In more KAMALA news: For those sexist assholes out there, a warning has been issued by groups of women who have organized and vow to shut down any misogynist attacks from the media or online.

• And while Trump may be trying to disparage Biden's running mate by calling her "Phony Kamala," the president's reelection team are quietly crapping their pants.

• Speaking of elections, far-right QAnon conspiracy theorist (oh, and racist!) Marjorie Taylor Greene defeated her Republican rival to win the 14th Congressional district primary in deep-Red Georgia last night, and of course, Trump had kind words to say about her.

• Meanwhile Squad member Rep. Ilhan Omar of Minnesota emerged victorious in her state primary, beating back a well-funded (and shit-talking) Democratic opponent.

• For those worried that Kanye West's ridiculous run for the presidency will suck votes away from Biden/Harris... don't. A new poll reveals he has little to no support from voters—particularly Black people.

• In Georgia's Cherokee County, the school district opened its doors to students on August 4 and (SURPRISE!) less than one week later, over 900 students and faculty members tested positive for COVID-19.

• Oh! Speaking of super spreaders: Do you like to wear those neck gaiters instead of a cloth mask? Then you may be unhappy to learn that, according to a new study, wearing a gaiter may be worse than wearing nothing at all.

• Russia is the first country to approve a coronavirus vaccine, but scientists are extremely wary since the country has failed to provide any hard proof of its effectiveness.

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• The Big Ten and Pac-12 conferences are postponing college football this fall (that includes your beloved Ducks and Beavers) due to the COVID pandemic, and in spite of Trump's knee-jerk reaction in which he tweeted "DUHHHHH... play football sport!!" (We're paraphrasing, but not by much.)

• Want to support the Mercury AND look like a million bucks? Buy our newest "RESIST" T-shirt created by local artist Sloane Leong that comes in black, white, yellow, and teal and is perfect for anyone who wants to protest in style!

Illustration: Sloane Leong

• Now let's peel our eyelids back for a look at the WEATHER: So long, clouds! The sun returns today with a high of 78!

• And finally, pour one out for the soon-to-be decimated Mike Pence.

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