Hi! Just here to say Im officially the 46th president of the United States, and Bill Barr got fired hahahaaaaa.
"Hi! Just here to say I'm officially the 46th president of the United States, and Bill Barr got fired hahahaaaaa." Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Here's your daily roundup of all the latest local and national news. (Like our coverage? Please consider making a recurring contribution to the Mercury to keep it comin'!)

• Nearly 2,000 doses of the newly approved Pfizer coronavirus vaccine have reached Oregon, though the first inoculations aren't expected to start until Wednesday according to reports. Frontline health workers are expected to receive the vaccine first, followed by nursing home residents next week. There's a lot to unpack, and our Blair Stenvick has all the details!

• The Black/Indigenous family whose "Red House" residence on N Mississippi has been the focus of an anti-eviction protest/occupation has reportedly reached a deal with the City of Portland. In exchange for the city not enforcing the foreclosure eviction, Red House supporters have begun taking down the barricades blocking the streets surrounding the house. A press release from the organizers also noted a number of intellectually dishonest media reports about the family, and that Mayor Wheeler and Police Chief Lovell apologized for the generational trauma the family and other Black Portlanders have endured. Mayor Wheeler also reportedly promised the family that "police will not encroach upon property and inflict further abuse and brutality upon Red House supporters."

• A bunch of Trump chodes showed up in Olympia, Washington yesterday to scream about their usual dumbshit and misinformed concerns. While usually best ignored, unfortunately one of the chode organizers was charged during the demonstration for shooting a counter-protester, who survived but was taken to a hospital.

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

• Sorry, Trump and his co-criminals! But the country (and electors!) have spoken and Joe Biden is now officially the president-elect! So this is the current president's official notice to pack up his tanning spray and Sudafed and get. the. hell. OUT.

• Speaking of getting the hell out, Attorney General Bill Barr has "resigned" from his job of undermining and ruining the reputation of the Justice Department, and according to Trump, will be leaving before Christmas. Though I'm hopeful we'll be seeing him again in the future... in court... and preferably in chains.

• Meanwhile, the American COVID death toll has passed 300,000 (more than one American every minute) as health care workers in New York, Ohio, and Iowa are the first to receive the new Pfizer vaccine.

• Michigan GOP Rep. Paul Mitchell (not the shampoo maker) has dramatically written a letter saying that he is leaving the Republican party because of Trump's attempts to overturn the election and fear of "longterm damage to the Democracy." Apparently he was okay with this "longterm damage" for the last four years, though.

• Today in "birds of a feather" news: "Georgia Republican senator had ‘no idea’ she posed with neo-Nazi."

• Lawmakers are rightly screaming bloody murder after it was discovered that Russian hackers are believed to be behind the sprawling data breach of Texas company SolarWinds, whose customers include (brace yourself), "all five branches of the military, the Justice and State departments, the National Security Agency, the Postal Service, and 425 of the U.S. Fortune 500 companies."

• It took over 100 years but Cleveland's major league baseball team is changing its racist name. (When it takes an organization more than a century to do the right thing, I'm thinking the phrase "better late than never" is no longer applicable.)

• The results are in, and the people have spoken: YOU LOVE GOOD AFTERNOON, NEWS! Never miss a single informative, entertaining post by subscribing HERE.

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• THE WEATHER REPORT: Scattered showers tomorrow with a high of 46.

• And finally, somebody give this pup a recording contract.