Oregon frontline health workers receive first doses of Pfizer vaccine.
Oregon frontline health workers receive first doses of Pfizer vaccine. OHSU

Here's your daily roundup of all the latest local and national news. (Like our coverage? Please consider making a recurring contribution to the Mercury to keep it comin'!)

• Two days after receiving the Pfizer vaccine, Oregon became the 49th state to begin inoculations against COVID-19 with three local hospitals (and one dentist!) administering the doses to grateful and exhausted healthcare workers. Our Blair Stenvick has more!

• And those vaccines arrived at a chilling time—yesterday marked another grim record for the state, with 54 deaths reported in a single 24 hour period, easily eclipsing the previous record of 36 deaths from just a week ago.

• Liability lawsuits may proceed against state correctional officials and the governor, after a federal judge ruled that they cannot be shielded from claims that they didn't do enough to protect Oregon prisoners from the spread of COVID-19.

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

• As usual, CAPITALISM STAYS ON BRAND: Wealthier countries—like the US and Britain—are snapping up the lion's share of COVID-19 shots to the point where poorer countries may have to wait months or even years to receive any at all.

• An Alaska healthcare worker had a rare, severe allergic reaction after receiving the Pfizer vaccine, but was treated and has fully recovered.

• Today in "EEEEK!": According to internal emails, a top Trump "science" appointee tried to force national health officials to adopt a "herd immunity" strategy to the coronavirus, allowing Americans to get the virus, which would have surely killed or caused long-term damage to millions.

• Secretary of State/dingbat Mike Pompeo has cancelled his last (of many!) holiday superspreader parties after being forced into quarantine following coming into contact with someone who tested positive for the coronavirus. However he did say that, if invited, he would still happily come to your home and double-dip your holiday cheese log.

• Despite being warned that constant false accusations of voter fraud was hurting their chances of winning the Senate races in Georgia, idiot Republicans continued to hammer their lies about the election, holding a completely useless hearing in which absolutely no new evidence of fraud was introduced. (Keep talking your party into an early grave, buttholes!)

• After months of blatant obstruction from Republicans, sources say that Congress is on the cusp of agreeing on a COVID relief bill—and one that will contain stimulus checks. (In return, Senate Majority Turtle Mitch McConnell is reportedly demanding another term for Trump in 2024, abolishing the Democratic party, and three McRib sandwiches.)

• Get out yer long underpants: A major winter storm is expected to slam into the East Coast this evening and tomorrow, possibly dumping up to two feet of snow.

• In "about goddamn time" news: Major League Baseball is finally recognizing the seven "Negro Leagues" that played between 1920 and 1948 as official "major leaguers" and will add their accomplishments to the record books.

• Let the bells ring and the confetti fall! Tickets are now on sale for the super sexy HUMP! 2021 Film Festival, featuring an array of hot 'n' horny amateur dirty flicks submitted by hot people like YOU. Get your tickets now!

• The results are in, and the people have spoken: YOU LOVE GOOD AFTERNOON, NEWS! Never miss a single informative, entertaining post by subscribing HERE.

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• THE WEATHER REPORT: Expect occasional showers tomorrow with a high of 49.

• And finally, here's the "official secret video™" of Tom Cruise losing his goddamn mind on the set when the Mission Impossible crew violated COVID protocol. For such a small guy, he really does have a big mouth!