Here's your daily roundup of all the latest local and national news. (Like our coverage? Please consider making a recurring contribution to the Mercury to keep it comin'!)

Biden uses the power of the turtleneck to harness power of COVID-fighting vaccine.
Biden uses the power of the turtleneck to harness power of COVID-fighting vaccine. Joshua Roberts / Getty Images

• Today's special one-day legislative session—intended to address the state's eviction ban extension, bars selling cocktails to-go, and more—was interrupted by a bunch of right-wing yahoos (most maskless, some armed, and led by Patriot Prayer's head yahoo Joey Gibson). The gang of chuds tried to force their way into the statehouse before being put in the awkward position of being declared an "unlawful assembly" and (in a couple cases) arrested and/or pepper sprayed by the cops who they previously supported. LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST.

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• On Friday, the City of Portland finally unveiled tentative plans to curb a year-long increase in shootings and homicides by assigning more detectives to investigate shootings. In a related story, city garbage collectors unveiled their plan to collect Portland's garbage by collecting garbage.

• The second COVID-19 vaccine, manufactured by Moderna, has been given the green light from the US Food and Drug Administration, and while Gov. Brown and other West Coast mayors have given the vaccine their approval, we're still waiting to see when it will arrive in Oregon.

• According to a new study, at least 113 houseless people have died in Portland over the last year—more than any previously studied year.

• How was your 2020? Well, for Blacktina activist/candidate/educator Candace Avalos, it was A LOT. Check out the story of her long, interesting year, filled with heartbreak, disappointment, and hope.

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

• Soooooo about that "mutated strain of the coronavirus": According to at least one infectious disease expert, despite travel bans and countries that are considering slamming their border doors shut, the variant strain is probably already in the US—though it was apparently expected and the vaccines we have now will probably work against it.

• Well, would you look at that! After SIX FUCKING MONTHS, Congress finally agreed to a $900 billion COVID-19 stimulus package, promising $300-per-week unemployment benefits through March 14, extending the federal eviction moratorium to February 1, devoting close to $330 billion in small-business aid, and... you knew it was coming, because the GOP are gonna "GOP"... a tax break for corporate meal expenses.

• Wearing the official uniform of the French poet (a black turtleneck), president-elect Biden received his coronavirus vaccine today, saying there's "nothing to worry about" in an attempt to calm science skeptics. (Thank god he didn't wear the beret.)

• In an announcement that will certainly push Trump even further off the mental cliff, outgoing AG Bill Barr said today he would not appoint a special counsel to investigate any perceived election fraud or bullshit theories about Hunter Biden. Cue Trump's cry-baby tweet rage in three... two... one....

• The statue of Confederate general Robert E. Lee that was housed in the US Capitol has been removed—though not tarred, feathered, and dragged through the streets. But ya get what ya get, and ya don't throw a fit.

• In headlines that will make you want to burn the entire earth: "Young conservatives mingled maskless at Mar-a-Lago and partied with a money cannon."

• Country singer K.T. Oslin—singer of "80's Ladies"—has died at the age of 78.

• Let the bells ring and the confetti fall! Tickets are now on sale for the super sexy HUMP! 2021 Film Festival, featuring an array of hot 'n' horny amateur dirty flicks submitted by hot people like YOU. Get your tickets now!

• The results are in, and the people have spoken: YOU LOVE GOOD AFTERNOON, NEWS! Never miss a single informative, entertaining post by subscribing HERE.

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• THE WEATHER REPORT: A dryer day tomorrow with a high of 46.

• And finally, if this doesn't get you in the holiday spirit... well... I can't even with you.