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Proud Boy leader Enrique Tarrio: Hey guys, gonna go leak some info to the FBI... BRB!
Proud Boy leader Enrique Tarrio: "Hey guys, gonna go leak some info to the FBI... BRB!" Stephanie Keith / Getty News

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! The jam is live in effect, and I don't waste time on the mic with a dope rhyme. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

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• It's gonna be another busy day for Busy Bee Biden who's got a slate of executive orders to sign today focusing on climate change and the racial and economic disparities it produces—but while many larger industries (like auto companies) are coming to accept efforts to fight global warming, the roadblocks are coming from within the Republican Senate and one Democratic senator in particular.

• Speaking of moving quickly, Congress could be voting on Biden's new coronavirus relief package as soon as next week, according to Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer.

• Proving they're just as spineless as they were in 2020, yesterday most GOP senators voted against holding an impeachment trial to convict the traitorous, riot-inciting Donald Trump, thereby boxing themselves into defending the former president even if more damning evidence is eventually revealed (which it certainly will be). Way to think ahead, dummies!

• Speaking of Republicans who are addicted to the smell of Donald Trump's farts, in the past, GOP Rep and QAnon crackpot Marjorie Taylor has indicated her support for the execution of prominent Democrats (like Nancy Pelosi) and even FBI agents.

• Democratic Sen. Patrick Leahy, tapped to lead the impeachment hearing, gave everyone a scare yesterday after feeling ill and going to the hospital. However, he's since been released, is back home and itching to get back to work.

• The CDC says that sending kids back to in-school learning can be safe, IF-IF-IF-IF communities commit to imposing limits on indoor dining, bars, and poorly ventilated gyms to keep COVID cases at a manageable level.

• If you happen to be a Proud Boy or any type of chud supporter, you're NOT gonna like this one: According to Reuters, Proud Boy national leader Enrique Tarrio was a paid informant for law enforcement agencies that includes the FBI. Hmmmm... what is it again that snitches supposedly get?

• Today in YIPES!: Officials in Philadelphia allowed a group of young college students to help give COVID vaccinations, which turned out to be a goddamn mess after the 22-year-old CEO of the group allegedly stole vaccine doses, while "unsupervised 18- and 19-year-olds vaccinated one another and posed for photos."

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• A 64-year-old man, Paul Rivas of Oregon City, has been charged with murder for the hit-and-run rampage on Monday which struck six people in a 15-block area, killing a 77-year-old grandmother. He's facing multiple other charges as well.

• The man pepper-sprayed by timber heir/Mayor Ted Wheeler has been revealed to be dairy heir Cary Cadonau, a local real estate lawyer and... heir to the Alpenrose Dairy company??Here's our update on the story that can't get any weirder, right? (Famous last words.)

• Oregon Gov. Kate Brown is relaxing some of the state's indoor activity rules, which will now allow gyms and movie theaters to reopen IN A VERY LIMITED CAPACITY: a maximum of six people indoors at facilities over 500 square feet. Sorry, the new rules do not apply to indoor dining at restaurants.

• The Oregon Legislature is preparing to hear public testimony on two more police reform bills which include limitations on when police can use tear gas, as well as a ban on police chokeholds, and a new public database for disciplinary actions taken against police officers. Our Alex Zielinski has more!

• Miss the live concert-going experience? Then DO NOT MISS the new Mercury Music Series, featuring livestream performances by your fave Portland artists—debuting with the fantastic BLOSSOM! Coming at you THIS THURSDAY January 28!

• If you need "funny": There are tons of laughs and some hilarious nationally recognized comedians on deck for the next I, Anonymous Show, streaming into your eyes on Wednesday, February 3!

• Let the bells ring and the confetti fall! Tickets are now on sale for the super sexy HUMP! 2021 Film Festival, featuring an array of hot 'n' horny amateur dirty flicks submitted by hot people like YOU. Get your tickets now!

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• Now let's tilt our chins skyward to examine the WEATHER: More showers and sun breaks today with a high of 44!

• And finally, a morality tale in which vaccine deniers are compared to... winter coat deniers? Trust me, it works.