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Jesus Christ, what a fucking creep.
Jesus Christ, what a fucking creep. Handout / Getty News

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! You don't let him walk over your heart, I'm tellin' you. Girl, I can tell you've been crying and you needing somebody to talk to. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

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• Well, well, well, what's this? According to recent court filings, Joe Briggs, a Proud Boys leader who's been indicted for his role in the January 6 domestic terrorist attack on the US Capitol, has had a very chummy relationship with "both local and federal law enforcement personnel stationed in Portland, including the FBI’s Portland Field Office." Our Alex Zielinski has more!

• After telling police only two weeks before that a man that entered her homeless encampment tent and threatened her with a gun, this same woman has been found shot to death.

• Is it possible for gentrification to be reversed? Abe Asher takes a look at a group who is trying to do just that on NE Alberta, where Black people have been pushed out of the area, and efforts are being made to make this situation right.

• The state of Oregon plans to put $50 million toward helping businesses in the state pay back the rent they've owed during the pandemic—and more help is on the way next month.


• Busy Bee Biden will be introducing his new $2 trillion infrastructure plan designed to create millions of new jobs while battling climate change... and he expects wealthy corporations to pony up and pay for it.

• In the Derek Chauvin trial, a firefighter who gave emotional testimony describing how she was blocked by cops from helping George Floyd as he was suffocating underneath Chauvin's knee, is expected to return to the stand today. That gulping sound you hear is Chauvin's lawyers realizing their client is (rightly!) in a shit-load of trouble.

• According to studies in which kids as young as 12 were given the coronavirus vaccine, the Pfizer dose is said to be not only safe, but 100 percent protective—which is good news for getting children safely back into school by fall.

• You're not surprised to see it: One of Trump's slimiest toads, Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz, is being investigated for allegedly having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old girl and traveling with her across state lines which, if true, is... *squints, checks notes*... a violation of federal sex trafficking laws and a felony. (The background of this story, which springs from one of Gaetz' even slimier buddies, is absolutely bonkers and you should check it out.)

• Two Capitol Police officers who were injured in the domestic terrorist attack on January 6 are suing loser Donald Trump for suffering “physical and emotional injuries” as a result of the former president inciting the riot.

• Oh, how cute! New York has finally gotten around to legalizing recreational cannabis. Let us know if you guys have any questions on how to use it!

• HELLO, STONERS! You will be pleased to know that SPLIFF—the short flick film festival about cannabis and all things "stoned"—is kicking off April 16-24 and you can get your tickets NOW. (So hurry up before you forget... because you know you will.)

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• And now... THE WEATHER REPORT: Expect a nice sunny day and a warm high of 68! (That's two degrees away from thong weather!)

• And finally, here's hoping you find your voice today.