The defense rests after Derek Chauvin refuses to take the stand (probably for good reason).
The defense rests after Derek Chauvin refuses to take the stand (probably for good reason). Court TV / Pool

Here's your daily roundup of all the latest local and national news. (Like our coverage? Please consider making a recurring contribution to the Mercury to keep it comin'!)

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• A woman detained during a 2019 protest is now suing a Portland cop for fabricating evidence in order to arrest her. Her lawyers allege the officer used the arrest as retaliation for expressing her disgust at the police's actions (specifically spitting on the ground nearby). Sounds like somebody (in a position of power, and with a gun) got their feelings hurt! Our Alex Zielinski has all the details.

• In order to stop Republicans from walking off the job whenever they're faced with legislation they don't like, Oregon state Dems have struck a deal to protect their agenda, agreeing to grant them veto power over any redistricting for the next 10 years. WOW! That's not only making a deal with the devil, it's encouraging the devil to continue acting like a devil baby whenever he doesn't get his way!

• A school in close proximity to Portland's ICE headquarters have been regularly complaining about the Fed's insistence on firing chemical weapons at protesters, which is also endangering the health of their students. Thus far the Department of Homeland Security and Justice Department have ignored their pleas.

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

• Contrary to Trump's methods of coddling Putin, the Biden administration has leveled far more serious sanctions on Russia for election meddling and hacking federal agencies, that are designed to put some real economic hurt on the country.

• The defense has rested their case in the Derek Chauvin murder trial, after the accused refused to take the stand and explain why he chose to kneel on the neck of George Floyd for nearly nine-and-a-half minutes, crushing the life from his body. (Yep, that would be kind of hard to explain.) Closing arguments are set to begin on Monday.

• Related: Chicago officials have released the video depicting a police officer shooting and killing Adam Toledo, a 13-year-old boy who may have been unarmed and with his hands raised. The mayor is begging for citizens to contain their rage until the investigation is complete, and good luck with that.

• Thirty-eight states have reported a scary surge in COVID-19 hospitalizations—more than 47,000—during the last week alone. WASH YA DAMN HANDS, WEAR YA DAMN MASKS, KEEP YA DAMN DISTANCE.

• According to the CEO of Pfizer, their vaccine will probably require a booster shot within a year of being fully vaccinated (and possibly annual doses after that).

• Idiot Republican Rep. Jim Jordan, who refuses to shut his stupid fucking mouth, was told to shut his mouth today following a long rant at Dr. Anthony Fauci during a meeting of the House Coronavirus Crisis Subcommittee. Can't we all agree that he really should just shut his stupid fucking mouth?

• In the on-again-off-again relationship between Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez, the celebrity couple are currently and definitely "off-again."

• HELLO, STONERS! You will be pleased to know that SPLIFF—the short flick film festival about cannabis and all things "stoned"—is kicking off April 16-24 and you can get your tickets NOW. (So hurry up before you forget... because you know you will.)

• Woot! Woot! The Portland Mercury's PIZZA WEEK is back, and kicking off Monday, April 19! Check out all the slices you can score for a measly $2 each! (Whole pies are available, too!)

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• And now... THE WEATHER REPORT: Another gorgeous day tomorrow with a high of 77!

• And finally, as insanely tempting as it may be, DO NOT TRY THIS ON ANY PORTLAND BRIDGE.