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Burgerville is temporarily closing their Lents location—for verrrrry suspicious reasons.
Burgerville is temporarily closing their Lents location—for verrrrry suspicious reasons. Burgerville Facebook

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! And then the thunder clouds of doubt move in, I begin to wonder, "Do you still love me?" But after that, my whole world is beautiful. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Tell me if you've heard this one before: For the second time, Mayor Ted Wheeler is putting the ball in motion for Portland Police to get body cameras... but this time around, instead of endlessly dragging their feet, the cops may have no choice but to put them into practice. Our Alex Zielinski explains.

• A stunning 1,575 new COVID cases were reported in Oregon yesterday—one of the biggest daily spikes since the pandemic began. Worse still, hospitalizations are up as well, from 39 to 379 over the previous day. And yet, are most counties instituting tougher masking rules to push back the virus? NOPE, THEY ARE NOT, out of fear of Trumpy retribution.

• The Burgerville location in Lents will be temporarily shutting down due to what they say is high crime coming from a nearby homeless encampment—BUT, BUT, BUT! According to employees, that excuse is baloney and that the company is actually shutting its doors because their workers were the first in the franchise to unionize.

Commish Jo Ann Hardesty plans on suing the City of Portland to obtain the records on how and why she was falsely accused of being the driver in a hit-and-run incident in March. As of today, Officer Brian Hunzeker—the former head of the police union—still hasn't admitted how he was involved in the leak of this information to conservative outlets.

• While Commissioner Jo Ann Hardesty was denied the opportunity to lead the police bureau (ohhhh, that would've been so good), the passion she has for equity and community safety has been in full view as she's spent the last seven months running the Bureau of Transportation. Our Isabella Garcia dives into what the Commish has accomplished thus far.

• On NE MLK, the Jerusalem Rose Market serves up Palestinian products and delicious food—as well as a portrait of the culture. Our Janey Wong has this fascinating profile.

• After two great seasons with the Blazers, ten-time All Star Carmelo Anthony has been picked up by the LA Lakers.

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

• After a searing report was released, stating that New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo had sexually harassed 11 women and violated state and federal law, calls have intensified (even from Prez Biden!) for the governor to step down for his very creepy behavior. Naturally, creeps like him never see the writing on the wall, and for now, is refusing to budge.

• In Ohio, Democratic Party Chairwoman Shontel Brown and Trump-backed energy lobbyist Mike Carey beat a crowded field to win their primary last night, and will go face to face in their November election.

• The CDC issued a last minute extension of the national eviction moratorium until October—but for some renters the help has come too late, as some cities and states are allowing landlords who already filed the paperwork to evict their tenants.

• Despite being ordered to do so by the Justice Department, former Prez Trump is begging a judge to not allow his tax returns to be turned over to Congress.

• Today in "Well, that's some bullshit": Republican Missouri Gov. Mike Parson has pardoned the Ken and Karen who famously pointed guns at the participants of a Black Lives Matter march as it traveled through a luxurious subdivision last year.

• It's official: According to the CDC, the Delta variant accounts for at least 93 percent of all new COVID cases in the United States.

• Former Prez Obama is significantly scaling back his 60th birthday rager at Martha's Vineyard to just family and friends thanks to the surge of the Delta variant.

• "You gotta keep 'em separated": Offspring drummer says he's been booted from band for not getting vaccinated.

• REJOICE! Portland’s favorite food event is back! Sample 37 delicious, one-of-a-kind burgers from the greatest local restaurants (and only $6 each). It’s the Mercury’s PORTLAND BURGER WEEK, coming at you August 16-22!

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• And now... THE WEATHER REPORT: Expect another hazy, sunshiny day with a high of 92 degrees.

• And finally, in this video, I'm the kitten and the bird is Twitter. Roll it.