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A healthcare worker leaning over a hospital bed.
Oregon continues to break COVID hospitalization records, straining the state's healthcare system. Brandon Bell / Getty Images

Goooood afternoon, y'all—here are the headlines!

In local news:

• Before you buy your Oreos, Ritz, and other snacks, you may want to catch up on the Nabisco strike. Over 200 workers walked out of the company’s Northeast Portland facility two weeks ago as contract negotiations between Nabisco’s parent company and worker unions stalled out. Workers across the country are now joining them.

• With COVID-19 hospitalizations expected to exceed Oregon’s hospital capacity in September, healthcare leaders will have to decide which COVID patients to prioritize. While some people argue that vaccinated patients should take priority over hospitalized anti-vaxxers, state health officials say that’s unethical—and inequitable.

• In more COVID news, Gov. Brown is requiring all K-12 staff and volunteers to get fully vaccinated by October 18, or six weeks after the FDA approves the COVID vaccines, whichever date comes later.

• A former Portland club owner reached a settlement with several Black Portlanders who accused him of using arbitrary dress code rules—like wearing “too many chains”—to discriminate against Black patrons. Alex Zielinski has the details on the settlement, and how the plaintiffs involved have been put off Portland’s nightlife following the discrimination.

In national news:

• HEY LOOK, SOME GOOD NEWS: The first mRNA-based HIV vaccine is about to start human trials. Moderna is using the same technology used in its COVID-19 vaccine to create the HIV vaccine.

• OnlyFans—a website where fans pay creators for photo and video content—will ban sexually explicit content on October 1. The site is primarily known as a place where sex workers can upload and monetize pornographic content in a relatively safe manner.

• Law enforcement held an hours-long standoff with a man claiming to have a bomb near the US Capitol today, causing nearby government buildings to be evacuated. The police eventually took him into custody and found bomb-making materials in his truck.

• Look your best (and support local journalism) by purchasing a new Mercury T-shirt! Check out this month’s hot designs here!

• From the makers of HUMP! and SPLIFF comes a new film fest that features short documentaries made by YOU! It's called SCOOP! and you can find out more about it here.

• REJOICE! Portland’s favorite food event is back! Sample 37 delicious, one-of-a-kind burgers from the greatest local restaurants (and only $6 each). It’s the Mercury’s PORTLAND BURGER WEEK, coming at you August 16-22!

• And finally, I can’t decide if I want to be Lauran or Roxy: