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Virginias loathed statue of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee is finally (FINALLY!) taken down.
Virginia's loathed statue of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee is finally (FINALLY!) taken down. Pool / Getty Images

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! If I turn away, am I strong enough to see it through? Go crazy is what I will do. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• The campaign to recall Mayor Ted Wheeler has one short month left to get the required 47,788 signatures in order to prompt a recall election, and... well, things are not looking good for the effort. Our Alex Zielinski digs into the challenges and talks to experts to see if this is a hill the Total Recall campaign can successfully climb.

• Over the past four days (including Labor Day), the Oregon Health Authority has reported 5,821 positive COVID-19 cases and 54 deaths. If there's any hopeful news on this front, it's that officials expect the virus to peak in the coming week... though it may take a long time to fall.

• Republican blowhard/Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick has called Portland a "dumpster fire," adding that our city council's plan to financially boycott the state over their inhuman anti-abortion laws will hurt us more than hurt them. I'm not so sure of that, since they stand to lose millions.

• It's looking like the Oregon Transportation Commission may adopt the plan to cap I-5 in the Rose Quarter, which would be one step toward reconnecting the historically Black Albina neighborhood that was split in half when I-5 was built in the '60s.

• Today in "squeaky wheels getting the grease" news: The incessant whining from the Portland Police may allow them to get their way once again, as city officials are considering not including them in the vaccine mandate plan that is supposed to apply to ALL city employees.

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Democrats are working overtime to fine tune the multitrillion-dollar bill that will expand America's social safety net, while also getting everyone on the same page because every single Dem vote will be needed to help it pass.

• Celebrations ensued as Virginia finally took down their statue of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee which has been resting on the state house grounds, and then (rightly!) cut it up into a bunch of damn pieces.

• After making sweeping promises that they'd be more thoughtful about the rights of women, the Taliban's new government consists of... *checks notes*... all men and hardline members of the group from the '90s.

• An unwelcome headline, but one you need to hear: "Flu season is coming fast and could be miserable, studies warn." (So get your shot for that, too!)

• Good news for Britney fans: Spears' father Jamie has filed a petition to end the 13-year court conservatorship of his daughter which gave him control over her life and money.

• RIP actor Michael K. Williams (who played Omar Little on HBO's The Wire) who has died at the age of 54. Medical examiners are currently investigating the cause of death.

• Good news! After suffering a scary (though small) heart attack, beloved actor Bob Odenkirk announced he is back on the set of his show Better Call Saul.

• Hey Savage Love fans! Get your tix now to see Dan Savage live and in-person on October 2 for a reading of his newest book, Savage Love from A to Z, an illustrated collection of 26 never-before-published essays! (Plus, paid attendees get their own copy of the book!)

• Alert! We've combined three of our world-famous film festivals into one, big, sexy, stoney, scary, movie showcase called the Mercury Movie Mashup! It's the best of the best from SPLIFF (our stoner film fest), SLAY (our horror film fest), and HUMP! (the little porn festival that started it all!), featuring all the blood, sex, and weed you can handle in a ONE NIGHT ONLY show at the Clinton Street Theater—go get those tix now!

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• And now... THE WEATHER REPORT: Air quality improves today with partly cloudy skies and a high of 85.

• And finally, if the person who came up with this dance can be called a "choreographer"... THEN SO CAN I!